Hallmark Fail

 

INSIDE:  I love you Stinky!!

 

So I figure if bschooled and I are going into the greeting card business that I should at least get some experience under my belt first.  On facebook I stumbled upon the Hallmark Greeting Card Contest page.  Their most recent contest had to do with food.  You needed to make a Birthday or Love card that incorporated food in some way.

So this was my entry.   And it failed.  Maybe it was too gross for Hallmark but my wife said she would buy it so at least I have one.  Or maybe it has been done before but I don’t think so.

For those who have no idea what the joke is, either you are of the 50% of the population who has pee that doesn’t smell after eating asparagus, you don’t eat asparagus, or you really smell and don’t know it. 

Read more on why your pee smells after eating asparagus on the Straight Dope.

Things to know when visiting Costa Rica

Normally, when I take a well deserved break from cartooning for a few weeks, I kick my heels up at home and just take a mental break from blogging/internet.  But this Christmas, we went away on a trip to Costa Rica.  I have been to Belize and Mexico but never had any intestinal issues before.  Even in Costa Rica, I kept with the experts advice to only drink the water at the hotels or bottled water.  And yet I spent more time in the bathroom than I have in the last six months combined.

But it didn’t keep me from seeing the incredible sites of Costa Rica and experiencing the extremely genuinely nice people of that country.  The only thing I missed out on doing was the zip line tour.  I didn’t want to have to crap on people from the trees as I swung by…even though I saw a few monkeys do it.

So for anyone preparing a trip to Costa Rica, I offer you the ten things I learned that I didn’t know about this wonderful country before I went.

1. They disbanded their army in 1948
2. More so than other Central American countries, Costa Ricans are mostly of  European descent.   Some sites claim that disease brought by the Spanish settlers killed off much of the indigenous population.
3. Costa Rican woman have a high self-esteem.  Which was explained to us by a guide as we passed a large woman, who may or may not have recently given birth, wearing a bikini.
4. Even in the dry season it rains (a lot).
5. You can find souvenir vendors all over the place but what they don’t sell but need to are battery operated fans and sweat towels.
6. Bob Marley must have been Costa Rican and NOT Jamaican (as evidenced by the number of Marley beach towels and tshirts for sale everywhere.
7. For a country that prides itself on tourism, it doesn’t take much pride in completing roads to get you anywhere.  If you are lucky you get a two lane paved road.  I saw one road construction worker the entire time I was there, and he was on his lunch break.
8. If you are on a antacid like Nexium, Prilosac, etc., you may be more prone to intestinal issues as the reduced acid in your stomach allows the bacteria to take hold in your stomach.
9. Due to issues with processing toilet paper in water treatment facilities, most public restrooms have a garbage can next to the toilet for you to deposit your used TP.  I thought it was surprising that it didn’t smell.  My wife said several of the women’s restrooms did.  I think men are more courteous and wrap their poopy TP nicer than the women.
10. Given the previous two points, it seems only fitting that they named their currency the COLON.

Guest Cartoon: MJ Cartoonist

Today kicks off Holiday Break 2010 where I will be out of pocket for the next few weeks.

I got such a great response to my call for guest cartoons that I will be posting three days a week for the next two weeks.  Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.  First up is MJ.  MJ is both a fellow editorial cartoonist for the National Free Press and also has his very own strip Welcome to the Jungle (it has nothing to do with the Bengals).

I love how his Christmas lights seem to shine on the page and how the ice has frozen over the edge of the cartoon.  Thanks MJ and here’s hoping I don’t find a “dump of coal” in my fireplace come Christmas morning.

Here is the full list of Guest Cartoons and when they will appear.  As I won’t be around please support all their hard work by leaving comments, visiting their sites and spreading the word on Twitter, Reddit, Facebook etc.

Thur 12/23      MJ of National Free Press
Sun 12/26        Roland Perez of Metal Jaw Comics
Tues 12/28      Tony McGurk of Whatever he is Calling his blog today
Thur 12/30     Colleen Dick of Tix-Comix
Sun 1/2             Ken Drab of Rick the Stick
Tues 1/4           Frank Hansen of Frank Hansen Illustration
Thur 1/6           Aidan Casserly of Scapula
Sun 1/9             George Ford of Addanac City

Editorial Cartoon: Obama isn’t Muslim

I rarely have a cartoon on the back burner but this one I originally drew two weeks ago when a poll was released that now 18% of Americans believe that President Barack Obama is Muslim versus his self-professed Christianity. 

The absurdity of this pushed me to draw the above as it is like saying anyone that is circumcised is Jewish. 

(My wife got the joke immediately but then wondered if some might take offense as if I was implying that Jewish men may not be endowed.  I told her I hadn’t heard that stereotype and besides aren’t there many Jewish men in porn including  including Seymour Butts and Ron Jeremy?)

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