Bearman Cartoon: Bad Dog

Feeding Dog at the Table Cartoon

Today’s cartoon was inspired by a challenge by our friend Jillsy Girl to do a post inspired by childhood memories.

I remember my dad liking some crap that the rest of us couldn’t stand, yet we had to eat it because whatever mom made for dinner you had to eat.  Somehow my wife’s mom always let her have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if she didn’t like what was for dinner.  Not in my house.  You had to take some of EVERYTHING…and eat it.

Well that was the plan anyway.  Thanks to our good old dog, I didn’t have to worry about eating all my liver or tongue.   Yes, my family was served cow tongue on occasion.  You know when you rush in from playing outside and are excited to see what is for dinner only to see a giant cow tongue boiling in water that it’s not a good night.  I can remember seeing the ridges on the tongue floating in the water.  Hated the stuff.  But the dog loved it.   It was a sly motion that you stuck the food in your mouth, coughed into your hand as you spit out the meat and then slowly reached under the table to the awaiting jaws of the beast.

Still, I could never get the fucking dog to eat my brussel sprouts.

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106 Responses to “Bearman Cartoon: Bad Dog”

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  1. Wow!That’s really a interesting post with have a funny topic.

  2. Friggin Loon says:

    That’s funny Bearman because I can distinctly remember chomping on a few dog biscuits as a kid. Hmm, I wonder if the dog was fobbing them off to me?

  3. Tony McGurk says:

    My Mum was the same. What is it with fathers & cow tongues. Pigs trotters too. She knew that both my sister & I hated brussel sprouts but still cooked them & made us eat them. We didn’t have a dog but the cat hated them too.

    Your post title reminded me of this post I read this morning
    http://thepoodleanddogblog.typepad.com/a_slightly_r_rated_dog_bl/2011/05/revenge-of-the-dog.html

  4. nursemyra says:

    Somehow you never struck me as someone who came from a tongue eating family

  5. G says:

    Oh man, I remember my dad doing that kind of stuff on Saturdays when my mom used to do private duty nursing.

    Tomato soup, pea soup, baked bean and ham, cottage cheese. Truly barf making stuff to a little kid. I used to play the waiting game in order to get out eating that stuff. The longer I sat at the table and didn’t eat, the better my chances of getting out of there without eating lunch.

    However, there was one item that I grew to like as an adult: fried baloney sandwiches.

    • Bearman says:

      Ugh…I forgot about tomato soup. Another thing the dog wouldn’t eat.

      I loved cottage cheese because that was part of lasagna. In college, I used to make what I called poor mans lasagna and just mix cottage cheese, pasta and spaghetti sauce together. mmmm…maybe I’ll make that for the wife.

      • Lynn says:

        umm, hate to burst your bubble Berman but real Lasagne isn’t made with cottage cheese! I wonder who started substituting Ricotta with cottage cheese? It does sound similar though.

  6. Jillsy Girl says:

    Unfortunately, we didn’t have a dog, only a cat and none of us ever thought to try that trick. Thank G-d we were never served tongue, liver was bad enough!

    You totally surprised me, Bear, with this one! Thanks for the entry! 🙂

    • Bearman says:

      Thankfully as we got older my dad could find his liver and onions at restaurants. Didn’t matter how much ketchup I drowned that stuff in, it was still always too dry.

      I have been slacking on your contests so I needed to make up for it. Glad I got it in for today’s deadline.

  7. Lynn says:

    Yeah, I lived in a house where you had to eat cooked green peppers in spaghetti sauce! YUCK! I hated the smell of those and still do. Who does that? I married an Italian and he said he never had it or heard it cooked that way. I only wished I had a dog to eat that crap. Btw, if I had been your dog, I would have gladly eaten your brussel sprouts.

    • Bearman says:

      Only pepper I like is black pepper. Green peppers, red peppers….yuck. They both overpower any food they are cooked in.

  8. Nate Fakes says:

    Looks like my dog. She’ll spit out lettuce and other stuff. Picky!

  9. Jande says:

    Our dog was kept tied up in the barn, which was a fair distance from the house. By the time I got to him with the can of dog food, it was half empty. I never did get enough to eat as a kid. The dog got even less. Sorry, puppy!

    Some people never learn how to cook stuff properly. I’ll say one thing for my mother: she was an excellent cook. There was just never enough of it. Liver was juicy and tender, brussel sprouts were yummy (I often wonder if she added sugar to the cooking water…)She always cooked the hell out of carrots though for some reason. Yucky limp things!

    • Bearman says:

      Maybe you should have asked your mom to cook something with the dog food. Seems you liked the taste better than me.

      Once you cook a carrot even a bit, it is yucky. How can the flavor be that different from raw (yummy) to cooked (barfy)

  10. alecho says:

    I like to cook but I always fail with Brussel Sprouts. It’s one those cool ingredients to use just to say you can cook with it. But, man… no matter what I do it never works. And it turns out (form your comic) even dogs won’t eat them 😉

    • Bearman says:

      I haven’t seen the iron chef where the secret ingredient is brussel sprouts so it can’t be that cool..haha

  11. Bo Lumpkin says:

    So you spit your tongue out. I’m a redneck and even I have never ate cow tongue or oox tails.

    • Bearman says:

      In fact I would put a whole piece in my mouth and let it hang from my lips just so my mom would tell me to stick my tongue back in my mouth.

      • Bo Lumpkin says:

        Nothin’ like havin’ fun with disgustin’ food. Some of the stuff people eat will gross tou out. Now I got to go check on my chitlins.

  12. Fellow Cincinnatian and first timer here … “Spot” on about the food … (rim shot)

  13. Sounds similar to my childhood, Bearman – except there was NO DOG! You totally lucked out!

    I guess your green hair came about later in life!?
    🙂

  14. George says:

    You’re lucky. My parents never allowed animals in the house when I was young, and I was an only child, so i had nobody to pass my nasty dinner off to. I just made good use of napkins. 😀

  15. dude, my mom’s the bomb.com.

    she never made me eat any crap i didn’t like. and ironically, i like just about everything except mayonnaise.

    and seafood.

    and mushrooms.

    • George says:

      Man, BD, I love mayonnaised seafood and mushrooms. One thing I can’t stand is peanut butter. Never….never serve me that. I can digest it, and I will eat it, but i hate it. Oddly enough, peanut butter cups are my favorite candy.

      • Bearman says:

        My wife says I am like Sally in when Harry met Sally trying to order. Not fake orgasming but ordering things off the menu because I am so picky with how I like things prepared.

        Love seafood and mushrooms but you can keep your mayo. I’m a Miracle Whip guy.

      • Binky says:

        You don’t like peanut butter, but you love peanut butter cups? Well that’s weird! The pb cups though are much much sweeter than normal pb.

  16. Midtoon says:

    In my family, we also had to eat everything my mother cooked. Fortunately for me, I liked most of the stuff my mother cooked (or maybe my mother mostly cooked the stuff I liked).

    I guess I’ll have to ask her.

  17. Jason says:

    Your lamentation about seeing the tongue being boiled makes me feel sorry for you while entertaining me greatly. Thanks! Sorry.

  18. DadaHyena says:

    Dogs may be color-blind, but they still wont touch food if it’s green. My old dog would eat anything you gave to him, EXCEPT vegetables (his favorite plant matter consisted of eating grass…’til he barfed it back up).

  19. Dave Hambidge says:

    Great, love it, so accurate…

  20. lisleman says:

    Funny story and good cartoon – I didn’t know a cartoon would qualify for Jillsy’s challenge but of course I would be hard pressed to draw a cartoon.
    Thank goodness I was never served tongue. I can deal with brussel sprouts.

  21. So would the dog’s pee be even stinkier if he actually ate the brussel sprouts?

    • Bearman says:

      I thought that was only asparagus (which I’ll have to reveal soon a cartoon about that topic I did a few weeks ago)

  22. I need to do a guest toon for you. Name the topic. Done deal.

  23. Binky says:

    You should’ve had a Wombie. They’ll eat anything. well, as long as it’s chocolate coated.

  24. My clever eldest had already mastered the technique of stashing unwanted greenbeans in her diaper before she could even talk. For a while I thought her digestion just couldn’t deal with them, then I caught her in the act.

  25. planetross says:

    My finger is sore from scrolling down to the comment box.

    I disagree with you about cow’s tongue and liver, but I’m 100% with you about brussel sprouts.

  26. MJ says:

    Well, that’s just an ungrateful pet. Ha,ha,ha!

  27. For me it was green beans…ugh! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

    • Bearman says:

      Green beans I could handle as long as they were from a can. Soft and mushy. Fresh ones were too hard and they had a texture I hated.

  28. Just stumbled through your blog and it’s killer. I’ll check if you have more funny stuff like this. Keep it up!

  29. I had the same type of parents you had when it came to food. My dog died when I was 8 years old, and I had to eat the tongue and brussell sprouts. 🙁

  30. I guess the dog didn’t mind your saliva either. ha ha

  31. Bo Lumpkin says:

    Not liking Peanut Butter is just not right George. I’d have that checked out if I was you.

  32. Goeber.com says:

    No that is a smart dog! 🙂

  33. My stupid dog would never eat the vegetables either. It never stopped me from trying though.

  34. 100th comment! What do I win?

    • Bearman says:

      No…this is the 101st comment. Had you made this point on your previous comment, you would have won fabulous prizes.

  35. Jammer5 says:

    My mom hated pets, so we never had a dog. And she overcooked vegetables until they were mush (I still love ya, mom). We had to eat everything on our plates, and she did the filling. Maybe that’s why I started cooking at an early age, I think two.

  36. You and I grew up in the same house hold. We also had to eat everything. I enjoyed your story but now I’m picturing cow tongue floating in boiling water. Another great comic.



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