Giving Up After Marriage (Cartoon)

Give Up After Marriage Cartoon

This cartoon was inspired by Sunday’s post regarding the article that said people who have sex or exercise infrequently are more prone to heart attacks.  Of course in Sunday’s toon, I poke fun at the guy.  But I am an equal opportunity offender so thought it was the ladies turn.

The one thing I constantly tell my wife in the years since we got married is:

Thank you for not giving up!

I mean how many women (and men) nab their significant other and after the “I do’s” just stop trying.  Stop taking care of themselves, stop being interested in what the other has to say, and in the case above stop caring whether or not they will scare the crap out of their spouse by how they dress/look.

I worry for the future husband of this Bearmaniac.  I mean if she is going for the mud mask look now on public video, heaven help the future Mr. Blunt Delivery. 

Click here to see the video on her blog in full color.   And while you are there, ask her why she doesn’t use the mud on her forehead or upper lip.  She loves those questions.

Comments

105 responses to “Giving Up After Marriage (Cartoon)”

  1. bschooled Avatar

    At least she cares about how she looks to others.

    It’s funny how every time women (including myself) break up with a guy, suddenly we care about things like working out, wearing clean clothes, shaving our legs, etc.

    I think Blunty looks hawt.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      …using deodorant, not peeing on the toilet seat, not farting in workout classes (ok the last one is real. Went to a boot camp workout tonight and we were doing lunges around the room and the girl right next to and just in front of me lets out an SBD that made me just have to stop and let her keep going down the gym)

      1. Friggin Loon Avatar

        Why can’t I get the image of Bearman in lyrca out of my head….make it stop!!!!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          People should wonder how it got in your head.

      2. Colleen Avatar

        If it was really a SBD how do you know it was her? Unless you two were the only ones in the workout?

        1. Bearman Avatar

          I don’t but I am 99% sure since I was walking almost right behind her.

  2. Blunt Delivery Avatar

    AHHHHHHHHHHHhhh hahahahaha!

    i’m starting to think you like making an example outta me.

    but, you know, if my life can be used to help others, then i freely sacrifice myself. Even if it is as a What Not To Do guide.

    P.S. You’re a punk. Hopefully your wife never stopped reminding you of that EITHER!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      You are a role model. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.

      And yes my wife calls me everything in the book. We like to call each other names in jest so if we ever use them when we are truly angry it loses the effect.

  3. Blunt Delivery Avatar

    Oh, and the funny thing is, before i read the entire post, and i had just seen the cartoon i was laughing cus i am CURRENTLY wearing a face mask as I type this. I thought the cartoon was an inconspicuous jab.

    But then, lo, i saw the rest of the post and realized it was indeed a very direct jab.

    just how i like it

    1. Bearman Avatar

      haha. Of course you are wearing a mask. I want a picture on your site of you and MrBD together with matching masks.

      1. George Avatar

        I thought you were just jealous and envious of Mrs. A’s face-mask from my comic earlier this week. Always taking bites outta my Kool-Aid, huh?

        1. Bearman Avatar

          I don’t want any of your Jim Jones Kool Aid.

          1. George Avatar

            That’s Jimmy Dean Kool-Aid, thank you very much.

          2. Bearman Avatar

            Is it Sausage Flavored?

  4. Blunt Delivery Avatar

    p.s.s. i hate rollers.

    my hair is too long and they get all tangly. so booya.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I didn’t say it was you. But after I drew it I thought of you and your chip dip face masks.

  5. Jillsy Girl Avatar

    aww…but blunt is even cute with the mask ON!! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I am not sure if that was a compliment.

  6. Friggin Loon Avatar

    Mask on , mask off….men are never happy 🙂

    1. Binky Avatar

      Depends upon whom the mask is placed.

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Ditto what he said.

  7. Binky Avatar

    Being an artist means you can be eccentric and not worry about letting yourself go.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      But that is only if you actually make money with your art. Otherwise you are a fat slob who paints pictures and can’t get a real job.

      1. Binky Avatar

        You know me too well!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Which part??

          1. Binky Avatar

            Well, I’m not that fat. . .

      2. George Avatar

        Wow. I Googled myself and your last sentence came up. Hunh.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Luckily you still have a day job.

  8. Denny DelVecchio Avatar

    Blunty makes scary beauty masks look good.

    Jealous.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      What does Denny make it look like?

  9. lisleman Avatar

    Isn’t there a Billy Joel song about the mask we wear. “…we all have a face that we hide away ….”

    1. Bearman Avatar

      The Stranger. Yes but sometimes the real thing is better than the mask.

  10. bman (The Underfold) Avatar

    Whoa… where did I comment…?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      You have no idea. It can only get worse.

  11. Caz Avatar

    I probably look better with the mask on. For that matter, I guess I should mask my whole body. 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Good thing you are a doctor. You can wear a mask all day and no one will look at you weird.

      1. Caz Avatar

        Yeah, unmasked me gets the weird looks. 😀

  12. Gavin Avatar

    The poor dude’s damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t!

    1. Dave Hambidge Avatar

      Maybe damned if he doesn’t and dead if he does? Getting impaled on that nose would bring quick ex-sanguination…

      Bearman, one of your best, IMHO!

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Thanks Dave. I had to make the nose a little witchy.

  13. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

    You gotta keep tryin’, You have it work at it every day. Even after 40 years, Too many get tired and quit.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      So what do you do special for the wife every day??

      1. George Avatar

        Personally, I try not to say the first thing that comes to mind. I hesitate before every statement. My wife thinks I’m ‘special’, but at least she’s still with me. 😀

      2. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

        Whatever I think will make her happy. I start by making the coffee before I leave so it will be ready when she gets up. When I get home at noon I ask her what she wants to do for the afternoon. Making her happy is my full time job. Everything else is just a hobby.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          As my wife says “Happy Wife, Happy Life”

          1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

            Listen to her. It is a pretty simple recipe.

  14. Dave Hambidge Avatar

    PS Join the “Sick Days” final chapter appeal at my place!!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      You need to add a link since people clicking your name are directed back to your old blog.

      http://hambocentral.blogspot.com/2011/03/we-want-more-sick-days-as-promised.html

      1. Dave Hambidge Avatar

        THANKS! .link amended

  15. MJ Avatar

    Ha,ha,ha! What a hoot!

    1. Bearman Avatar
  16. Colleen Avatar

    Well, she’s doin’ the mask and the rollers in an attempt to look good, but for later (and for who one would ask.) I think maybe the muslim women are on to something. They look like walking tents while goin about their normal business and when they get home in the evening they break out the makeup and the hot outfits for hubby only.

    I’ve often thought of getting one of those Islamic female things (the nice flowy ones from east asia, not the Afghan style ones that look like black tents) and then maybe people would want me for my brains not my body. 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Flowery things like that we call a MooMoo (or is it just mumu). Then you have really let yourself go.

  17. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

    HAHAHA!
    So funny, Bearman!
    My wife just used one of those ‘masks’ (two nights ago). They always FREAK ME OUT! I think she knows that, and enjoys messing with me. Cruel and unusual punishment. 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Freak her out and use one tonight.

      1. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

        I get the impression that might be a little claustrophobic, but it might be worth it…
        🙂

  18. Tony McGurk Avatar

    I don’t think she would look that great without the green muck mask, look at that long beaky nose. She’s just scary all round. The cartoon lady not Blunt Delivery I mean

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thank you for clarifying.

  19. Tony McGurk Avatar

    Perhaps Husbands should apply green full body masks & beat the women at their own game. Actually that sounds kinda kinky…

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Do you call that “hulk night” in your house????

      1. Tony McGurk Avatar

        Oops… Let our little secret out didn’t I???
        Hey it’s Tuesday, you know what that means…
        Hulk night!!!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Don’t make me angry.

  20. DadaHyena Avatar

    I’m looking at the woman in bed’s facial features (sloped nose, jutting chin, wide eyes) and all I can think of is Al Hirschfeld’s caricatures of Bob Hope.

    I guess the guy isn’t feeling very, uh, “hopeful” right now.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Or it could be Phyllis Diller. I can almost picture a filtered cigarette coming out of that mouth.

      1. DadaHyena Avatar

        Saaaay…she DOES like like Phyllis Diller! Or rather her animated puppet counterpart from “Mad Monster Party?”.

  21. Brad Avatar

    Just close your eyes and go!

    1. Binky Avatar

      Where? Out the window?

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Is that what is referred to as a “double bagger”?

  22. The Good Greatsby Avatar

    My wife and I have been very honest with each other. She’s asked if I would still love her if she got fat and didn’t care how she dressed and never wore make-up. And I answer, “Yes…but less.”

    1. Bearman Avatar

      And honesty is the best policy in any marriage. I just tell my wife she has to keep looking better than me. If she falls below that standard we are both in trouble.

  23. Mel (Dummies of the Year) Avatar

    My wife puts that stuff on her face but never come to bed with it on. To be honest though, if she had that on her face I would still, well you know 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      On the plus side she couldn’t complain if you don’t kiss her enough beforehand.

  24. Gruff Guano Avatar

    I’ve said it before, “if you marry a swamp witch, one day you’ll reap the muck”.

    (The drawing. Not the picture.)

    1. Bearman Avatar

      You’ve said that??? In what circumstance was it fitting besides here..haha

      1. Gruff Guano Avatar

        Well it was during my “I’ll hate to say it, but I’ll say it anyway when you divorce” speech, as best man at my buddy’s wedding.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          I am sure his wife enjoyed that

          1. Binky Avatar

            He’s lucky he escaped with his life.

  25. jynksie Avatar

    Do you wanna start writing for the Hodge Blog there buddy boy?!? *smirk*

    I do agree, the longer you’ve been married, the more complacent you become with yourself and your relationship. The next thing you know, you’ve gained 40lbs, developed an addiction to online porn… or so those numerous article claim! *cough*

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Speak for yourself. I weigh 15lb less than I did when I met my wife. So marriage has only improved me.

      1. Binky Avatar

        Really? That’s way better than average. Marriage has been good to you!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          My wife told me I had to outlive her b/c she doesn’t want to be alone. So the pressure.

          1. jynksie Avatar

            My wife is the exact opposite. She wants me to go first and…early! I’m heavily insured and she has “places to go and people to do”! o.O *grin*

  26. George Avatar

    My wife and I struggle daily not to get caught in the rut of “I’ve got ’em now, I can stop ‘applying’ for the job.” I know she would want me to put my best foot forward the same as I expect from her. The love part comes from the fact that even if she didn’t do anything special, she will always be my sweet thang!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Quit typing and get back in the living room and rub her feet.

      1. George Avatar

        Can’t do it right now. I’m at work rubbing my boss’s feet. I think that’s a foot. It’s hard to tell with the lights off.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Your wife’s feet dont grow that fast.

          1. George Avatar

            But the toenails do.

  27. Rent Textbooks Avatar

    You are too funny. I was laughing out loud. Man I needed that this friday! Thanks

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Well you could have gotten that laugh 2 days ago when I posted it..haha

      j/k you know I appreciate it whenever you stop by.

  28. Nate Fakes Avatar

    Quick resolution: Give wife the credit card = in the clear

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thankfully my wife has her own credit card and mine stays firmly in my pocket.

  29. notapeopleperson Avatar

    Well, people always say the cure for sex is marriage…

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Speak for yourself… Haha

  30. Ahmnodt Heare Avatar

    This is why I always sneak out afterwards. My heart can’t take waking up to that after a night of activity.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      What if you sober up in the middle?

  31. Frank M Hansen Avatar

    Awesome. Great take on the subject. Another perfect cartoon.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Perfect??? You are too kind.

  32. […] Giving Up After Marriage Cartoon | Bearman Cartoons This cartoon was inspired by Sunday's post regarding the article that said people who have sex or exercise infrequently are more prone to heart attacks. Of course in Sunday's toon, I poke fun at the guy. …using deodorant, not peeing on the toilet seat, not farting in workout classes (ok the last one is real. Went to a boot camp workout tonight and we were doing lunges around the room and the girl right next to and just in front of me lets out an SBD that made me just . […]

  33. Sheila Deeth Avatar

    Ah, we all wear masks, but do we exercise?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I exercise…but don’t wear masks

  34. 25BAR Avatar

    Don’t believe everything you read! LOL!