This editorial cartoon was inspired by recent articles that infrequent sex or exercise can lead to an increased risk of heart attacks. If you aren’t getting enough and decide to engage in those activities, it could induce a heart attack.
Can you imagine the out of shape guys using this as their new pick up line. “C’mon baby, you don’t want me to die do you??”
Reminds me of a guy who would ask every woman in the bar if he could get her number whether or not he had a chance with any of them. When asked why, he said it was law of averages. 1 in 100 would say yes. I think that guy ended up being pretty good at sales.
Cool, so I can drop the whole headache excuse then?
Well it does work both ways.
I wish 🙁
That’s how I used to look at it. If you asked ten girls out, the odds are you’d get at least two or three positive responses. The Law of Averages will work in your favor sometimes. But not at Lottery.
Odds are you get the drunkest one George, and then it’s an arm chew in the morning 🙁
Or I wake up with MY arm chewed off! It’s bad enough my nickname is Stubby!
OK, way too much information blahahahahaha
Indeed, that’s oversharing! Heehee.
“Stubby” is an old joke between Bearman and I that he seldom lets me forget. 🙂
You have to be careful what you say online. It is there forever.
hahah “arm chew”
G, I don’t get those lottery odds. For as many times as I play, you would think that I would at least win the $7 prize in the lottery.
I can only win decently on the Pick 3 or Pick 4. I suck when it comes to the bigger games. I do better with scratch-offs (if I learn to leave the store as soon as I win). 🙂
Oh so you are one who wins and then cashes it in for more lottery tickets. No wonder they take all your money. Got to know when to walk away…and know when to run.
I try to run when they hand me the lotto tickets, but they seem to always want money in exchange.
that guy got a lot more than a sales job. He probably knows all the prescriptions for all types of stuff. Sometimes you are better off with the no. Instead of dying, I thought the blue balls was a better trick.
One way or the other, one of your body parts might explode.
Nice work on the moobs!
Thanks…though the first comment my wife made was that the woman had two different sized boobs.
Hey, I like a little variety.
That is realistic though b/c they say no woman has equal sized boobs.
Er, how often is ‘infrequent’ ? 😳
a ‘friend’ wants to know
Tell your friend to go for a nice long run a couple times a week and it will make up for the lack of action.
Especially if you’re running towards your nearest bordello.
Awww… Poor bloke. Rejection is a hard lesson to learn.
No pun intended.
does masturbation count?
I think masturbation counts as ‘safe’ (non life threatening) sex 😆
Yes to what duncan said but as far as saving your life, I guess it depends on how much you can get your heart rate up doing it.
But only when you’re not using barbed wire and Lava soap just to get the party started.
“barbed wire” hahah…ewww
But what if the need is t’other way round and the woman wants life-enhancing and preserving nookie?
I already had a thought for that toon…you are getting ahead of me again Dave.
Ooops, sorry, better make duncan the male “victim”?
haha…he is already too much of a victim.
I saw the law of averages approach summed up as ‘He who gets the most slaps, gets the most rides’ by a bit of bathroom graffiti in a pub once. Made me laugh 🙂
I should write a book on the best bathroom humor written on walls.
She’s so mean! She could save a life.
Right now, I think she is saving her own.
yeah from death by asphyxiation and crushing. My kids had an evil imaginary that they told stories about. His name was simply “the Fat” He would roll down the street, sucking unwary children into his rolls and smothering them, and there they would stay until the fat got hungry. He was finally defeated by being stuffed into a too-small spandex suit, so that victims would simply bounce off rather than getting sucked in. I think that kind of crazy is probably hereditary.
I think your kids have their first cartoon story arc.
Little b*rds would probably sue my ass for plagiarism. But if they draw it themselves I’ll put it in Tix-Comix.
I said “their” not yours. Don’t steal it. Make them draw it..haha
So me having 7 kids should mean I am doing well. Except for all the gray hair I’m getting.
As long as you are getting in practice between kids.
I think this confirms “Why Men Die First”. The wife waits for him to get out of shape and ensure his ticker can’t handle her when she finally takes him on the -last- ride of his life. Husband croaks and wife hires a young, sassy pool boy! End of story! o.O
Maybe we should have been pool boys in our younger years, Jynksie. 🙂
I would rather go in bed than on the toilet.
My grandfather went on the toilet, must’ve been one hell of a strain brutha! o.O (what? to soon? he died 30 years ago).
I’ve always said, I am either going in the bed or on the toilet.
I’m the “pool boy” now George! What-ever-do-you-mean “in our younger years”?!? *smirk*
Just as long as you don’t wear a banana hammock…..ewwwwww the thought.
I wonder if this line works on the wife? 🙁
Try it and report back to us.
Too funny I would die laughing if I saw this played out in real life.
Head out to the bars…I bet you do.
Best pick-up line ever. I may just have to try it sometime…
Especially works if you hang out in bars near the hospitals that nurses frequent.
Hey, who hasn’t fantasized a little “Florence Nightingale” scenario every now and then?
Or Florence Henderson.
Or Florence from the Jeffersons. Yessssss…..
My doctor told me this a few months back. I told him I’ve been getting pretty good exercise, but asked if he could right me a prescription on the other so I could put it up on the fridge at the house and tell my wife each day, “Doctor says I need to do it as needed to help reduce the chance of a heart attack.” He told me that there were some prescriptions a doctor couldn’t even get filled. 🙂
I think you need a second opinion then.
This would do well on a shirt, too, Bearman! 🙂
I’ve tried that route…no one buys cartoons in this format on tshirts.
How about socks?
Socks might work. At least until the novelty wears off.
Sounds like you’d be ‘darning up’ a ‘hole’ in the market, Bearman! Oh! Ha ha ha. Ha. Ah. Does anyone even say darning anymore? Eh. 🙂
Did anyone ever??
I’ve used this line before on my wife, you know, mentioning how it’s the best kind of exercise, or afterwards mentioning something like, “well, now I don’t need to get on the treadmill.” But for some reason, she doesn’t like the concept. I haven’t figured out why. I can’t think of any better exercise.
Maybe if you installed a trapeze in the bedroom it would be more like a work out to her.
oh yeah I’ve wanted a yoga wall for years and now I think I want it in the bedroom.
What is a yoga wall?? I have heard of a climbing wall but not a yoga one. I thought all you needed for yoga was a mat.
Ouch. An A for trying. 🙂
He has more guts than most of us.
Isn’t that a lot of his problem?
haha…yes it is.
so is that chair holding up the moobs or what?
No making fun of my cartoon perspective.
What does he need a woman for ? He has bigger breasts than most of them. 🙂
Yeah but you get bored with your own stuff after a while I guess.
He just needs to go after a woman with the same goal
We always think we are better than that.
Doesn’t that woman know that her decision may assist in that poor man’s bad health and eventual death? Nice take on newest medical news. I heard that same story on the news but failed to see the comic opportunity. I need to work on that.
Sometimes I just go to google, hit search with an empty box and then click on “news” I scroll through the articles and typically something will hit me.
I don’t like the mental image you produced with the fat guy. Too funny!
Just “roll” with it.
Ha, typical bar scene. Great job on the cartoon.
this is a funny picture…I think the guy is a bit overweight eh? he should stick for exercise for real 😛