Tag: humor

  • Hallmark Fail

     

    Hallmark Smelly Asparagus Card

    INSIDE:  I love you Stinky!!

     

    So I figure if bschooled and I are going into the greeting card business that I should at least get some experience under my belt first.  On facebook I stumbled upon the Hallmark Greeting Card Contest page.  Their most recent contest had to do with food.  You needed to make a Birthday or Love card that incorporated food in some way.

    So this was my entry.   And it failed.  Maybe it was too gross for Hallmark but my wife said she would buy it so at least I have one.  Or maybe it has been done before but I don’t think so.

    For those who have no idea what the joke is, either you are of the 50% of the population who has pee that doesn’t smell after eating asparagus, you don’t eat asparagus, or you really smell and don’t know it. 

    Read more on why your pee smells after eating asparagus on the Straight Dope.

  • Bearman Cartoon: Bad Dog

    Feeding Dog at the Table Cartoon

    Today’s cartoon was inspired by a challenge by our friend Jillsy Girl to do a post inspired by childhood memories.

    I remember my dad liking some crap that the rest of us couldn’t stand, yet we had to eat it because whatever mom made for dinner you had to eat.  Somehow my wife’s mom always let her have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if she didn’t like what was for dinner.  Not in my house.  You had to take some of EVERYTHING…and eat it.

    Well that was the plan anyway.  Thanks to our good old dog, I didn’t have to worry about eating all my liver or tongue.   Yes, my family was served cow tongue on occasion.  You know when you rush in from playing outside and are excited to see what is for dinner only to see a giant cow tongue boiling in water that it’s not a good night.  I can remember seeing the ridges on the tongue floating in the water.  Hated the stuff.  But the dog loved it.   It was a sly motion that you stuck the food in your mouth, coughed into your hand as you spit out the meat and then slowly reached under the table to the awaiting jaws of the beast.

    Still, I could never get the fucking dog to eat my brussel sprouts.

    Charity Challenge is in it’s last week.  Click the link to join in if you haven’t.

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge

  • Rapture

    Rapture final letter

    Charity Challenge continues for those still alive and kicking. I need all the brownie points in heaven I can get and I guess so do you so see how you can help by clicking below.

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge

  • Pop Culture Cartoon: Ashton Kutcher on 2 1/2 Men

     Editorial Cartoon: Ashton Kutcher gets Two and a Half Men Role

    So Ashton Kutcher has been added to replace Charlie Sheen on the popular Two and a Half Men series.  According to reports, he will be given his own character versus taking the role Charlie played. 

    I don’t watch the show but obviously there are tons of people who do.  Anyone planning to start or stop watching because of the switch?

    Charity Challenge continues.  See how you can help by clicking below.

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge

  • Dialogue Free Comics Day

    Bearman Cartoons - Dialogue Free Comics Day

    May 13 is Dialogue Free Comics Day.  It was started last year by Noel Curry of DJBogtrotter.  I of course couldn’t wait.

    Every year so many people work hard to get into shape for Marathon season.  Sadly, each year I hear reports of someone suffering a heart attack on the route.   So of course I had to think of it in terms of a pompous exercise freak that looks down on those not quite in shape.  

    Don’t forget to support the charity challenge.

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge

  • Editorial Cartoon: Why I pay Taxes

    Editorial Cartoon: Why I Pay Taxes

    This editorial cartoon was inspired by an article that I can’t find anymore.  I was in Kiplingers, Fortune, Money, Forbes or one of those fancy business magazines.  It came out around the time that people were complaining about GE not paying any taxes and it had to do with how CEO’s of major companies have been legally avoiding the taxman through various tax shelters.  Anyone who finds that article, let me know.

    These are guys that can afford to have full time accountants and finance people figuring out ways to work the loop holes of the tax system to their advantage.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not a fan of forking over a larger portion of my paycheck to taxes either.  But if it came down to raising my taxes or closing some loopholes that the uber rich can take advantage of…which one do you think I would prefer? 

    I am not one who thinks we shouldn’t pay taxes.  I just think we need better prioritization of the spending of our tax dollars and better controls of out of line politicians.

    On the other hand, I agree with conservatives who don’t want the Obama administration to raise taxes on families in the $250,000 range.  All too many of those are entrepreneurs with small businesses.  But someone in the $500,000+ range, go hire a finance guy to find the latest loophole.

    Going to be out of loop for the next few days so talk amongst yourselves, tweet or stumble this if you want, and don’t forget to support the charity challenge.

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge

  • Editorial Cartoon: Osama Dead

    Editorial Cartoon: Osama Dead Trump wants Proof

    Can anyone tell me what joke was repeated over and over on Sunday night?  If you said “Donald Trump is demanding to see Bin Laden’s Death Certificate” you would be right.  Go see for yourself.   

    In fact, the first time I saw the joke, I thought it would make a cute editorial cartoon.  By the 20th time I saw it, I thought it was a little overdone.  I guess that didn’t stop these editorial cartoonists. 

    The basis of the joke (for the uninformed) is that Donald Trump is toying with running for President.  So his first public act of late has been to join the birthers in their efforts to say that President Barack Obama wasn’t actually born in Hawaii so he shouldn’t have been eligible to be President.  Trump had been calling for Obama’s Birth Certificate.  Of course when Obama did share it, Trump just took credit for being able to put that rumor to rest and allow the country to move on.  Ever the opportunist.

    So I thought I would take the joke (which you see in panel one) and go a slightly different route for the punchline.  Did I use an outdated reference with the title “Weekend at Donalds”???

    Don’t forget the Charity Challenge.  Click image for Details.

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge

  • Editorial Cartoon: Tracy Jones and Scott Sloan

    Editorial Cartoon: Tracey Jones and Scott Sloan

    It’s been a while since I have done an editorial cartoon with a local flair.  Tracy Jones  and Scott Sloan do an afternoon talk show on 700WLW in Cincinnati.  Tracy played professional baseball for 5 years (on five different teams).  Taking nothing away from that accomplishment, Tracy (tongue in cheek) is always telling Sloan that he doesn’t understand:

    • Professional Baseball Players
    • Any professional or college athlete
    • Celebrities
    • Pretty much anything else

    …because Scott “Never played the Game”  

    Recently they have been discussing how Cincinnati Red’s pitcher Mike Leake was arrested for shoplifting.  Leake’s actually bought some shirts and went to exchange them.  Rather than asking for a salesperson’s help, he decided he didn’t have time as he was late getting to the ballpark.  So he exchanged his shirts by putting back his previously purchased ones and tore tags off the ones he wanted, put them back in his bag and walked out the door.

    Tracy of course said the rest of us wouldn’t understand how a professional ballplayer doesn’t have the time to wait around for sales clerks to wait on them.  Scott responded that the rest of us know better than to think we are entitled to make up our own rules.

    Anyone ever come across someone who was “entitled” to not follow the rules because of their position or celebrity?  Or, know of someone who was a “expert” in one field that thinks they know everything about every other field?

    *** UPDATE ****
    Scott emailed me to say that he loved the cartoon and has posted it on his blog.

  • Matzah Ball Cartooon

    Matzah Ball Cartoon

    Happy Passover to my Jewish friends.  This Matzah (Matza, Matzo…damn how do you spell it?) Ball Cartoon was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend.  His girlfriend is Jewish and he went to her house for Passover seder.  He said he really loved the Matzah Ball soup.  I asked him if he knew whether or not they cut the balls off the matzah before or after killing it in the wild.  He looked at me confused for a minute.

    I also made this image.  Thoughts on whether I should put it on a t-shirt?

    I got your Matzah Balls right here

  • Webcomics: What’s Cooking II

    Monkey Bread Recipe from Bearman Cartoons

    So back in October I spoke about a project called Webcomics: What’s Cooking.    In it I told you

    …long time Beartoons supporter Byron Wilkins of 1977 the Comic has teamed up with Kurt Sasso of TGT Webcomics  for a cause near to my heart – Fighting Hunger.  They have collected food related cartoons and recipes from various artists and are in the process of putting them together a cookbook collection.   The proceeds of the book will support Food Banks in the United States and Canada.

    I am not in the book but I promised those who asked that I would publish my recipe once the book was in print.  My Monkey Bread Recipe is the best you will find out there.  Some people call it “Pull Apart Cake” but Monkey Bread has a better ring to it.

    Anyway, I got my copy this past week and love it.  Regulars here including George Ford (Addanac City) and Dr. Carlo Jose San Juan (Callous Comics) are in there with great entries. 

    But I have to say the two that made me laugh the most was Dave Reddick of Legend of Bill and our own Aidan Casserly of Scapula.   Bill is a Barbarian so Dave’s recipe was “Big Barbarian Burgers”  First ingredient – “Beef”.  Second ingredient “Beef”.  Third ingredient – “Beef”.  Just like a real Barbarian.  And Aidan had Scapula performing community service by teaching us all how to make a pot of coffee.

    So order your own copy and support the hungry.