Bearman Cartoon: Bad Dog

Feeding Dog at the Table Cartoon

Today’s cartoon was inspired by a challenge by our friend Jillsy Girl to do a post inspired by childhood memories.

I remember my dad liking some crap that the rest of us couldn’t stand, yet we had to eat it because whatever mom made for dinner you had to eat.  Somehow my wife’s mom always let her have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if she didn’t like what was for dinner.  Not in my house.  You had to take some of EVERYTHING…and eat it.

Well that was the plan anyway.  Thanks to our good old dog, I didn’t have to worry about eating all my liver or tongue.   Yes, my family was served cow tongue on occasion.  You know when you rush in from playing outside and are excited to see what is for dinner only to see a giant cow tongue boiling in water that it’s not a good night.  I can remember seeing the ridges on the tongue floating in the water.  Hated the stuff.  But the dog loved it.   It was a sly motion that you stuck the food in your mouth, coughed into your hand as you spit out the meat and then slowly reached under the table to the awaiting jaws of the beast.

Still, I could never get the fucking dog to eat my brussel sprouts.

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Comments

106 responses to “Bearman Cartoon: Bad Dog”

  1. Enkätverktyg Avatar

    Wow!That’s really a interesting post with have a funny topic.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thanks Martin.

  2. Friggin Loon Avatar

    That’s funny Bearman because I can distinctly remember chomping on a few dog biscuits as a kid. Hmm, I wonder if the dog was fobbing them off to me?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I used to feed the dog the canned food when I was 3 or 4 and remember using my finger to clean out the last remnants and eating it. Might explain a lot now. Maybe I should start therapy.

      1. Lynn Avatar

        Oh no you di’int!!!!!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Yep. Ken-L-Ration if I remember.

          1. George Avatar

            I’ve always suspected that Gravy Train tasted good. I never had the nerve to try it though. Sigh….

          2. Bearman Avatar

            You just were enamored with where the gravy train disappeared to when it went into the cupboard.

          3. Binky Avatar

            I always wanted to be on the gravy train wagon to find out.

          4. Bearman Avatar

            Oop…just remembered. That was Chuck Wagon dog food not Gravy train

          5. Binky Avatar

            You’ve falsified my memory!

      2. Friggin Loon Avatar

        You should have used the biscuits to scoop it out, a more rounded meal!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Biscuits were too dry.

  3. Tony McGurk Avatar

    My Mum was the same. What is it with fathers & cow tongues. Pigs trotters too. She knew that both my sister & I hated brussel sprouts but still cooked them & made us eat them. We didn’t have a dog but the cat hated them too.

    Your post title reminded me of this post I read this morning
    http://thepoodleanddogblog.typepad.com/a_slightly_r_rated_dog_bl/2011/05/revenge-of-the-dog.html

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I am not sure what a pig trotter is but I have had the trots in my day so I am hoping they are unrelated.

  4. nursemyra Avatar

    Somehow you never struck me as someone who came from a tongue eating family

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Really….what kind of family did I strike you as coming from?? ha

      1. George Avatar

        I figured you as being more of a rice cake, barley-eating clan who preferred biscuits over bagels. I could be wrong, however. 🙂

        1. Bearman Avatar

          We did have barley soup on occasion.

  5. G Avatar

    Oh man, I remember my dad doing that kind of stuff on Saturdays when my mom used to do private duty nursing.

    Tomato soup, pea soup, baked bean and ham, cottage cheese. Truly barf making stuff to a little kid. I used to play the waiting game in order to get out eating that stuff. The longer I sat at the table and didn’t eat, the better my chances of getting out of there without eating lunch.

    However, there was one item that I grew to like as an adult: fried baloney sandwiches.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Ugh…I forgot about tomato soup. Another thing the dog wouldn’t eat.

      I loved cottage cheese because that was part of lasagna. In college, I used to make what I called poor mans lasagna and just mix cottage cheese, pasta and spaghetti sauce together. mmmm…maybe I’ll make that for the wife.

      1. Lynn Avatar

        umm, hate to burst your bubble Berman but real Lasagne isn’t made with cottage cheese! I wonder who started substituting Ricotta with cottage cheese? It does sound similar though.

        1. Lynn Avatar

          Sorry I digress, I just read the word “poorman’s lasagna”

        2. Bearman Avatar

          My mom put both because the Ricotta was too dry so she mixed the two.

  6. Jillsy Girl Avatar

    Unfortunately, we didn’t have a dog, only a cat and none of us ever thought to try that trick. Thank G-d we were never served tongue, liver was bad enough!

    You totally surprised me, Bear, with this one! Thanks for the entry! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thankfully as we got older my dad could find his liver and onions at restaurants. Didn’t matter how much ketchup I drowned that stuff in, it was still always too dry.

      I have been slacking on your contests so I needed to make up for it. Glad I got it in for today’s deadline.

  7. Lynn Avatar

    Yeah, I lived in a house where you had to eat cooked green peppers in spaghetti sauce! YUCK! I hated the smell of those and still do. Who does that? I married an Italian and he said he never had it or heard it cooked that way. I only wished I had a dog to eat that crap. Btw, if I had been your dog, I would have gladly eaten your brussel sprouts.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Only pepper I like is black pepper. Green peppers, red peppers….yuck. They both overpower any food they are cooked in.

  8. Nate Fakes Avatar

    Looks like my dog. She’ll spit out lettuce and other stuff. Picky!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Who tries to feed their dog lettuce??

      1. Binky Avatar

        The same kind who thinks their dog will eat brussel sprouts. Last I checked, dogs are carnivores.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Yes but I was a stupid kid…Nate is an adult who should know better

  9. Jande Avatar

    Our dog was kept tied up in the barn, which was a fair distance from the house. By the time I got to him with the can of dog food, it was half empty. I never did get enough to eat as a kid. The dog got even less. Sorry, puppy!

    Some people never learn how to cook stuff properly. I’ll say one thing for my mother: she was an excellent cook. There was just never enough of it. Liver was juicy and tender, brussel sprouts were yummy (I often wonder if she added sugar to the cooking water…)She always cooked the hell out of carrots though for some reason. Yucky limp things!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Maybe you should have asked your mom to cook something with the dog food. Seems you liked the taste better than me.

      Once you cook a carrot even a bit, it is yucky. How can the flavor be that different from raw (yummy) to cooked (barfy)

  10. alecho Avatar

    I like to cook but I always fail with Brussel Sprouts. It’s one those cool ingredients to use just to say you can cook with it. But, man… no matter what I do it never works. And it turns out (form your comic) even dogs won’t eat them 😉

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I haven’t seen the iron chef where the secret ingredient is brussel sprouts so it can’t be that cool..haha

  11. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

    So you spit your tongue out. I’m a redneck and even I have never ate cow tongue or oox tails.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      In fact I would put a whole piece in my mouth and let it hang from my lips just so my mom would tell me to stick my tongue back in my mouth.

      1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

        Nothin’ like havin’ fun with disgustin’ food. Some of the stuff people eat will gross tou out. Now I got to go check on my chitlins.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          I don’t even want to know what’s in that.

          1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

            Gonna tell you anyway. Chitlin’s hopefully don’t have anything in them… It is what they did have in them that bothers folks. Chitlins are pig intestines. You can eat them fried or boiled. They look too much like what they really are just boiled though.

          2. Bearman Avatar

            Thanks. I needed that….ugh.

  12. A Frank Angle Avatar

    Fellow Cincinnatian and first timer here … “Spot” on about the food … (rim shot)

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thanks Frank. Glad you stopped by. See you are a big reds fan. I’ll have to find Jerry Dowling’s blog url for you as he posts a lot of Reds stuff.

  13. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

    Sounds similar to my childhood, Bearman – except there was NO DOG! You totally lucked out!

    I guess your green hair came about later in life!?
    🙂

    1. George Avatar

      The green hair comes from all those Brussell Sprouts. 😀

      1. Midtoon Avatar

        George stole my comment! Someone call the comment police!

      2. Bearman Avatar

        It comes from trying to dye away the premature gray.

        1. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

          You must use ‘Just For Bearmen’.
          🙂

          1. George Avatar

            I love Robert’s comment above! 😀

          2. Bearman Avatar

            No wonder. Wrong formulation.

  14. George Avatar

    You’re lucky. My parents never allowed animals in the house when I was young, and I was an only child, so i had nobody to pass my nasty dinner off to. I just made good use of napkins. 😀

    1. Jande Avatar

      You had napkins? Oh, very posh! ;`)

      1. George Avatar

        And I ate my chicken nuggets with my pinky out too, don’cha know! 😀

        1. Bearman Avatar

          If like my house, they were just a handful of napkins his dad stole from McDonalds on the last trip there.

  15. bluntdelivery Avatar

    dude, my mom’s the bomb.com.

    she never made me eat any crap i didn’t like. and ironically, i like just about everything except mayonnaise.

    and seafood.

    and mushrooms.

    1. George Avatar

      Man, BD, I love mayonnaised seafood and mushrooms. One thing I can’t stand is peanut butter. Never….never serve me that. I can digest it, and I will eat it, but i hate it. Oddly enough, peanut butter cups are my favorite candy.

      1. Bearman Avatar

        My wife says I am like Sally in when Harry met Sally trying to order. Not fake orgasming but ordering things off the menu because I am so picky with how I like things prepared.

        Love seafood and mushrooms but you can keep your mayo. I’m a Miracle Whip guy.

      2. Binky Avatar

        You don’t like peanut butter, but you love peanut butter cups? Well that’s weird! The pb cups though are much much sweeter than normal pb.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          You should just eat Nutella

  16. Midtoon Avatar

    In my family, we also had to eat everything my mother cooked. Fortunately for me, I liked most of the stuff my mother cooked (or maybe my mother mostly cooked the stuff I liked).

    I guess I’ll have to ask her.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      So you had spaghetti and/or hamburgers every night? Lucky guy.

  17. Jason Avatar

    Your lamentation about seeing the tongue being boiled makes me feel sorry for you while entertaining me greatly. Thanks! Sorry.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Worse, the back of the tongue was still attached so you felt like the esophagus was thrown in for good measure.

  18. DadaHyena Avatar

    Dogs may be color-blind, but they still wont touch food if it’s green. My old dog would eat anything you gave to him, EXCEPT vegetables (his favorite plant matter consisted of eating grass…’til he barfed it back up).

    1. Bearman Avatar

      They won’t touch food that is green but they will eat green grass? What’s up with that?

      1. DadaHyena Avatar

        Who knows? Stupid doggies.

  19. Dave Hambidge Avatar
    Dave Hambidge

    Great, love it, so accurate…

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Great to have you back from vacation Dave.

  20. lisleman Avatar

    Funny story and good cartoon – I didn’t know a cartoon would qualify for Jillsy’s challenge but of course I would be hard pressed to draw a cartoon.
    Thank goodness I was never served tongue. I can deal with brussel sprouts.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Jillsy always lets me cheat. Only way I’ll do her challenge..haha

  21. Warren Frantz Avatar

    So would the dog’s pee be even stinkier if he actually ate the brussel sprouts?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I thought that was only asparagus (which I’ll have to reveal soon a cartoon about that topic I did a few weeks ago)

  22. Denny DelVecchio Avatar

    I need to do a guest toon for you. Name the topic. Done deal.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Topic…why women love Bearman more than Denny.

      1. Colleen from Tix-Comix Avatar

        That’s ambiguous, BM, Do you mean

        Why women love BM more than they love Denny or
        Why women love BM more than Denny does

        and either way, I can’t wait to see Denny’s response.

        and I am a professed BM lover. Except that’s ambiguous too!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Either way works for me.

  23. Binky Avatar

    You should’ve had a Wombie. They’ll eat anything. well, as long as it’s chocolate coated.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      If it was chocolate coated, I might have eaten it myself.

  24. Colleen from Tix-Comix Avatar

    My clever eldest had already mastered the technique of stashing unwanted greenbeans in her diaper before she could even talk. For a while I thought her digestion just couldn’t deal with them, then I caught her in the act.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Sadly she was 17 and still doing it.

  25. planetross Avatar

    My finger is sore from scrolling down to the comment box.

    I disagree with you about cow’s tongue and liver, but I’m 100% with you about brussel sprouts.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Well you need to get here earlier. Typically post Sundays and Wednesdays unless I feel otherwise..haha

  26. MJ Avatar

    Well, that’s just an ungrateful pet. Ha,ha,ha!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I know…can you believe the nerve?

  27. Young American Wisdom Avatar

    For me it was green beans…ugh! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Green beans I could handle as long as they were from a can. Soft and mushy. Fresh ones were too hard and they had a texture I hated.

  28. artes marciais Avatar

    Just stumbled through your blog and it’s killer. I’ll check if you have more funny stuff like this. Keep it up!

  29. Ahmnodt Heare Avatar

    I had the same type of parents you had when it came to food. My dog died when I was 8 years old, and I had to eat the tongue and brussell sprouts. 🙁

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Probably the brussel sprouts that killed him.

    2. Binky Avatar

      Hopefully not your dog’s tongue.

  30. Arts Web Show Avatar

    I guess the dog didn’t mind your saliva either. ha ha

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Obviously not…she always tried to lick my face.

  31. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

    Not liking Peanut Butter is just not right George. I’d have that checked out if I was you.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I bet he likes peanuts though.

  32. Goeber.com Avatar

    No that is a smart dog! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Well it didn’t seem that way at the time.

  33. Scott Oglesby Avatar

    My stupid dog would never eat the vegetables either. It never stopped me from trying though.

  34. Scott Oglesby Avatar

    100th comment! What do I win?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      No…this is the 101st comment. Had you made this point on your previous comment, you would have won fabulous prizes.

  35. Jammer5 Avatar

    My mom hated pets, so we never had a dog. And she overcooked vegetables until they were mush (I still love ya, mom). We had to eat everything on our plates, and she did the filling. Maybe that’s why I started cooking at an early age, I think two.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      So can you cook in spite of your upbringing or is your stuff a mushy mess just like mom?

  36. Frank M Hansen Avatar

    You and I grew up in the same house hold. We also had to eat everything. I enjoyed your story but now I’m picturing cow tongue floating in boiling water. Another great comic.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      We did? I don’t remember my mom saying I had a brother named Frank.