Today’s cartoon on condom purchasing and the embarrassment it can cause was inspired by real life. The other day I had a few things to pick up at the grocery store and I was waiting in line behind a 20 something woman who confidently held a box of condoms in her hand ready to purchase. I thought to myself that I was so happy to be married so I didn’t have to deal with that anymore.
I don’t know about you but when I used to buy condoms, I tended to throw a couple more non essential items into the basket. For a time at my local grocery store you had to ask the pharmacist to unlock a cabinet where they were located. I guess because people would rather steal them than be embarrassed by purchasing them.
Thinking back, condom purchasing wasn’t the only thing I used to be embarrassed doing. I once was a gopher in an office where I had to buy tampons for the five women that worked there. Of course none of them used the same type. So here I went lugging five boxes up to the counter. The clerk looked at me funny and I said “This is the lowest point in my career.”
Even speaking up and ordering a drink at a crowded bar. I tended to just hold my money in my hand hoping eventually the bartender would see me. My wife can’t believe that I ever was shy for any reason. How about you? Anything you used to abhor doing that is no big deal now?
I would say “everything”. I was terribly shy, but now I don’t care. I think having kids in your life makes everything an open book.
So there you go. Don’t buy condoms, have kids, and you won’t be shy about buying condoms.
I think you need to be the spokesman for NBC More You Know Campaign…..that or MTVs Teen Mom show.
Confidence allows anyone to do pretty much anything. There are those guys who are so confident, they can wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes and women will fall all over themselves to be with them. Superman is a great example of this notion.
If only I knew then what I know now.
Well, I can’t think of anything that embarrassed me this badly. I can remember my dad buying female products for my mom from time to time and he’d put them in a brown paper bag so it couldn’t be seen in the cart. Hadn’t thought about that for years.
Have a terrific day. 🙂
I could see someone come up to him saying “uh excuse me sir are you going to pay for those tampons?”
If you got to buy them, go all out and get the Trojan Magnums! At least you can walk out with some swagger! 😉
But what about when you actually NEED them to work and not fall off.
🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
Oh, yeah 🙁
Kind of a small package isn’t it? Ha,ha,ha!
Probably what added to the embarrassment.
Nice I would laugh so hard if I ever saw this happen in person.
Go shopping with one of your guy friends and just ask him to buy them for you.
I enjoyed the story. I’ve always thought buying condoms showed your dating success or at least your dating hopes. Thanks for sharing. Oh I still abhor returning things and my wife I believe enjoys it.
I did know a guy who bought a bunch but I don’t think he ever had use for them besides water balloons.
I was in a grocery store recently and saw a similar thing.
There was a guy of about 20 or so standing in line with a grocery store rose, a six pack of cheap beer and a 10pack of condoms.
An older man standing between us leaned over to him and said, “Son, you’re either gonna need more flowers or more beer…”
I laughed the whole way home.
now that’s a good story 🙂
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!
Thanks for stopping by Jinksto. That story is priceless…you should make some money selling that to Readers Digest. If you don’t I will.
I’ve never found it embarrassing to buy condoms; if you want embarrassment, try carrying around a screaming, crying, puking infant. THEN you’ll wish you had bought them condoms!
I also have to say: man, that’s the whitest pharmacist ever! Is he a vampire, or did seeing someone buy condoms shock the skintone out of him?
I figure the older you are the more zombified white you should be in cartoons.
I’m never personally embarassed to buy condoms but I was recently embarassed for a young guy around 16 who was stopped by a clerk and accused of stealing condoms with his mother standing right beside him. Poor kid. I hit the exit fast!
They were for MY MOM!!!!
“Son! You know we’re on a budget right now! You’re just going to have to pull out like all the other kids!”
Is that the rhythm method the kids are all raging about?
I can’t believe you had a job that required you to buy tampons for fellow workers.
The whole sexual harassment thing hadn’t hit that industry yet.
Just wait until you’re watching a television show with your kids and a condom commercial comes on. 🙁
Isn’t that some kind of chocolate? For adults? That’s what I’ve been told.
Peter lies a lot doesn’t he?
I’m beginning to suspect that. . .
I’m way, way better at talking on the phone than I was in highschool. I don’t know what it was, but I was always more nervous to talk to people on the phone than I was in person.
My god, that tampon story trumps any bad work story I’ve ever had.
Ok, here is another. I worked for an ad agency and one of our clients made a yeast infection treatment. They wanted shots of all the competition. You HAD to ask the pharmacist for them because they are behind the counter.
Being tampon gopher really sucks. You shoulda got extra pay for that. I always buried them amongst some non-essentials too. I was at the supermarket checkout with my wife once & she remembered she forgot tampons & sent me to get them while she kept our place in the queue. I asked how many & she said a 12 pack. I thought she said 12 packs so I returned to the checkout with an armfull. She was more embarrasses than me.
Cracking up here. I could just see her face and the other people looking at her feeling sorry for her female issues.
I sprayed drink everywhere while reading this, Tony! You made my day, man. 😀
Lol….Bearman, you never disappoint!!
I try…I mean to not to.
I was always an overly shy person, but I think the shyest I’ve ever been was to go into the Adult Video Room at a movie store. It wasn’t until I became a manager of one that I finally felt comfortable striding into that flesh-colored room. None of the female workers wanted to go in there, so they left dealing with the porn to the one male who worked there: Yours Truly.
Going in isn’t as scary as it used to be. 😀
But I bet it still gives you nightmares to hear “George clean up on aisle six”
….And you had enough of the wad-talk earlier today! Yeesh! I couldn’t imagine an aisle’s worth! LOL!
We didn’t have to worry about anyone trying the old “slip-and-fall” routine. Who really wanted to fall in all of that “special sauce”? Ack!
That’s why the room was constructed of “RubberMaid”. Wax on, wax off. 😀
More like Whack On, Whack off.
Seriously Bearman, what hell office were you working in? Good lord!!!!
Heck, I’d buy some Tampax and help with insertion if i could work in Movie Production. Man, you’re a lucky Bear.
Not all it is cracked up to be. Otherwise I would be in Hollywood and not Cincinnati.
Oh that would explain it, media people are evil 🙂
Some are great…some will make your head spin at how truly evil they are to other people.
Ah, the good ole days.
I remember it well.
You have to find the ‘right’ items to buy them with, too. Has to look ‘upstaged’. And not like they go together in some strange way.
I’d say I’m pretty shy about pretty much anything. I manage to get myself so worked up I forget pretty much any information pertinent to the situation. Which doesn’t really help, either. It’s generally best if I can stay hidden in my apartment.
Problem is that you married a social butterfly.
I remember I had a girlfriend who would send me to the grocery store before I came over for a night of movie fun (or more, if I got my way). One night, she had a minor list of odds and ends that she needed. She was missing itemes for our salads, and our dessert was lacking the perfect ingredient. I said, sure, I’ll grab what’s necessary.
One thing that was mandatory was that I needed some condoms. I was happy to have other products in the basket so I wouldn’t look like some brazen, sex fiend.
So I got up to the checkout line with:
~12-pack of rubbers
~1 large cucumber
~1 bottle of cherries
~1 container of Cool Whip
I never felt so stupid before in my life. 🙁
Thumbtacks…what the hell was that girl feeding you?
Yeah, the condom thing was tough, but the wife put some perspective on it… “at least you’re getting some!”
That reminds me of the old joke about the guy complaining to his girlfriend that he doesn’t like to wear condoms because “he can’t feel it as well” To which she replied “If you don’t wear a condom you won’t feel it at all”
More benefits in being married. It is nice to not have to worry about that any more. Funny comic.
That is why married men live longer. No stress of buying condoms.
Slapping the condoms on the counter is like saying to the clerk, “Can you hurry my good man? I’m about to get laid!”
Yes I would probably have more pride these days.
When I was 17 I used to be too shy to go into the pub for a case of beer: I used to stand outside and ask other people to buy it for me. hee hee!
haha. Well if you are 70 then I would call it shyness….if you aren’t I would call it slyness.
Used to have major issues in purchasing condoms. Of course, since I don’t need them, there are no moments of embarrassment.
Now if I buy strange stuff and the cashier gives me a quizzical look, I simply shrug and say, “For the females in my family.”
Unless of course you are in the adult store buying a blow up doll.
The most embarrassing part about buying condoms is the look from the cashier that suggests “Like he’ll ever use them.”
Nope, I still don’t do certain things because that is just who I am. I probably would have quit my job if I had to purchase tampons.
What kind of job were you at where the women played you like that?
Movie Production. I was low man on the totem pole.
This makes total sense, and I’m a girl!
I’m still smiling from all the stories. Who knew condoms and Tampons could be so funny.