Oral Sex Banned from School…Dictionaries

1 26 10 Bearman Cartoon Webster Dictionary Oral Sex

Thanks to the Friggin Loon for the heads up on this story.  It seems a California School has decided to yank the dictionaries out of a K-8 school because they found out that the definition of the word “oral sex” was contained within.  Oh my!!!! 

Actually I remember as a kid skimming through the dictionary with my friends to find the most offensive words we could.  And good or bad, these days kids are far less naive than we were.  Parents don’t control what their kids watch or see on the internet.  And trust me, even if 99% of them did, a kid will befriend the one kid in town whose parents don’t.

And before you ask…no I didn’t do internet porn research.  I don’t even know if BigBoobieGirls.com is a real website.  Someone whose other half isn’t staring intently over their shoulder as they post this particular cartoon might want to check and report back.

Speaking of being naive…I can remember in 7th grade a girl in my class coming up and asking me “are you a virgin?”.  To which I replied…”NO!  I am a Cancer!!!”

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63 Responses to “Oral Sex Banned from School…Dictionaries”

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  1. Bo Lumpkin says:

    I can’t believe they banned it in a California shool. It must have had a heterosexual reference.

  2. Terri says:

    LOL you are too funny bearman love the cartoon keep up the great work!!!

  3. writerdood says:

    Quick, get one of the old dictionaries fast before they’re all gone and we don’t know what oral sex means anymore.

    • How far do you need to go back before it was included in the dictionary in the first place??

      • writerdood says:

        I don’t know. I imagine they just appended it to sex. Sort of like “SEX” – Physical, Mental, Personal, Public, Standard, Oral, and (of course) Other. In retrospect, maybe they should have put Oral under Other. You’d have to be pretty flexible to have it under Personal, it’s probably illegal in Public, and it’s not always Mental. Oh, and we should add Philosophical.

  4. Dan Long says:

    Oh, how times have changed. I remember when I was in grade school, and we had one friend who had *gasp* printed playboy photos in his backpack, that we huddled around and he eventually got in trouble for. Then, a couple years later, *GASP* a snowy VHS porn tape that a kid found in his dad’s dresser drawer!

    I do wonder what it’s like to be in grade school now, where you can go on the internet and see ANYTHING you want to look for, knowing more about how to delete browser history than your parents do, with no consequences. It’ll be interesting to see how the youth of today turns out.

  5. frigginloon says:

    Blahahahaha isn’t it so true. When I was a kid no one even knew the dirty words to look up.

  6. spilledinkguy says:

    Maybe they should have just broken into the school in the middle of the night ski mask style and cut those words out with an x-acto knife. That would have really been … something … I guess. 🙂

  7. I love the pisstake. BUT is there undue risk that the sexual alertness of the non-white character will be misunderstood?

  8. MidwestMom says:

    In 9th grade The head cheerleader passed out condoms to every one that she passed in the hallway and our Principal did not say anything to her about it.. Now a days if some one tried that I’m sure it would not be allowed.


    Make it all stop!

  10. georgeford says:

    I don’t see what the big deal is. We had lots of fun looking up the slang and euphemisms dictionary when I was in school. That’s I learned most of my potty-mouth conjugations. 😀

  11. jammer5 says:

    When I was a kid (yes, there was such a time 🙂 ), we congregated around the monthly issue of national geographic. Nothing like gazing at tribal nekidness.

  12. nursemyra says:

    I remember looking up the word “virgin” in a dictionary when I was about 12. It said “a woman who has not known a man (Biblical)”


    So at 12 I worried I wasn’t a virgin, and hadn’t have been one for many years.

    Let this be a lesson for lexicographers. there’s a fine line between too much information and too little

  13. yorksnbeans says:

    This post is hilarious (and no, it doesn’t mean your other posts weren’t funny). And oh, so true! And I got an extra chuckle from your last sentence!! 🙂

    • The sad part is I didn’t make it up. There was actually a pause after I said NO and everyone started laughing. That is when I protested that I was a cancer.

  14. Susi Spice says:

    I bet it was some teacher who isnt getting any oral sex who is was the driving force behind this… “if i dont get any then these kids wont even know about it..!”

  15. Michael says:

    Without a dictionary, how are kids going to learn the proper spelling of cunnilingus just in time for the big spelling bee?

  16. So was this in the Dicktionary?? Funny toon man.

  17. David says:

    As someone who went to a religious school, I can tell ya that we knew about all that stuff (and more). In fact, I’d say the more strict the school is about sex the dirtier the kids are.

  18. John K says:

    In my high school, back in the day. We were not allowed to read Allen Ginsberg in school because he had written a few homoerotic poems

  19. bschooled says:


    (I have no idea what oral sex is myself, but I still foud this hilarious…)

    ps. Are you sure that “astrology incident” didn’t happen in University, Bearman?

  20. I loved the cartoon, it actually made me laugh out loud. You’re point was right on target! Great job Bear.

  21. Darn it, I changed up what I wrote and didn’t change it to the correct ‘your’.


  23. Lynn says:

    to remove it fromthe shelves, that is so dumb! kids will just refer to http://www.urbandictionary.com to get their kicks. that’s much worse. i thought your reply to that girl’s comment was precious bearman! gosh i wish i knew what you looked like. can’t you just describe yourself to us?

  24. Jasmine says:

    Oooo. I want a specially made cartoon for my blog! how fun!


  1. […] I hope the southern California schools don’t get wind of this one. Evidently, the Culpepper County Public Schools in Virginia have […]

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