Why Cats are Assholes

Why Cats are Assholes by Bearman CartoonsNot much needs to be added to this cartoon.  Whether you love cats or hate them….they are ASSHOLES.   Why is it that cats can sleep 9 hours of their day on hardwood floors and yet when they have to vomit up a hairball they nonchalantly move over to the carpet, the couch or the bed?

 

Comments

62 responses to “Why Cats are Assholes”

  1. Deb Avatar

    I don’t have an answer for that, but totally agree with what you called them.

  2. Tony McGurk Avatar

    Just one of their many bad traits. This highlights their evilness. Well documented.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Thanks Tony. There are so many more reasons

  3. Nate Fakes Avatar

    My cat doesn’t vomit on anything. In fact, she just sleeps and eats. So, no complaints here. However, when I used to have a fish, that thing would crap in the most inappropriate places (like, right in front of me in its tank).

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      We have kne that isn’t a vomit comet but the others make up for it

  4. Tim Green Avatar

    I have three of the furry little assholes in my house and I concur…

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Three that is worse than little girl vampires

  5. Joseph Avatar

    Yup. That’s why I have no cats! :OP

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Monkeys throw poo

      1. Joseph Avatar

        Not on the carpet! We aim for your face :OP

        1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

          Thankfully your aim is horrible

  6. Jason Avatar

    People think they’re low maintenance because they use a litter box.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      They use a liter box? Well that could be one of my issues.

    2. qka Avatar
      qka

      The litter box is the problem.

      Now a dog, they need walks. So it’s an exercise program for you too. Granted, they need to go out on the foulest of nights. But have you ever taken your cat on a long, pleasant ramble on a beautiful day?

      1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

        I tried to walk our cat on a leash to the vet down the street but he stopped kore than a dog

  7. Christopher L Avatar

    They vomit at the drop of a hat mouse. 😉

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Maybe they would barf less in a mouse diet

  8. Dave Avatar

    Get rid of the cat and get a baby. 🙂

      1. Binky Avatar

        Babies are definitely low maintenance.

        1. Dave Avatar

          Yeah right. 🙂

      2. Dave Avatar

        Babies poop and pee and throw up just like a cat but at least the baby looks like me and shows me actual love. There is more return value in a baby than a cat.

        1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

          Yes they actually enjoy your company

  9. Scott Oglesby Avatar

    My cat’s not an asshole but only because he thinks he’s a dog. Greets me at the door, brings toys to my feet to throw, and wrestles with the other two dogs. I think rescuing him from the garbage bag when he was a few weeks old and bringing him into a dog home, confused him forever.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      The one I refer to as my cat doesn’t do that. He hardly pukes and will wait for me to rub his belly.

  10. David Hurley Avatar

    The carpet is a more comfortable place, when you aren’t feeling so well.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      I hope you use a toilet when you vomit

  11. Bill Murphy Avatar

    Ha, ha! Okay, this gave me a good laugh.
    Because it’s 100% accurate. 😉

  12. Cuz I'm Joe Avatar

    The only thing I would add here is the vomiting takes place at 3 AM after making as much noise as possible

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Next cartoon. Making that noise an alarm clock

  13. Comedy Plus Avatar

    Because they are assholes Bearman, that’s why. Bwahahahahahaha. This is so very true.

    Have a fabulous day. 🙂

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Thanks Sandee you too

  14. Michael corley Avatar

    Rugs are the toilet of cats.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Why can’t they just use the litter box?

  15. lisleman Avatar

    Dogs rule – woof woof

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      I agree…just too lazy to have and walk them every day

  16. Mike Avatar

    My idiot dog does the same thing. So aggravating. Woke up one morning to the sound of him hurling between my guitar stands. D’oh!

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Better than IN your guitar I guess

  17. Binky Avatar

    Cats do this because they know how to annoy their humans.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      I heard Wombies aren’t house broken either

  18. jynksie Avatar

    A cat will eat you as you lay there, dead! A dog will lay by your side. … that says it all! [smirk]

    I don’t like cats, I bring animals into my home for attention and affection. If I want to be ignored, I have a spouse for that! [mmeeeOOOOWWWW] [wink]

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Your wife doesn’t ignore you…she is always telling you what to do haha

  19. p.j. Avatar

    YES! OMG, YES! or on the only white chair in the house.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Why would you buy a white chair? haha

  20. Julian Avatar

    Hahaha, so true.

    I’ll hear my cat start to hurl and move him to the kitchen. He’ll still run back to the carpet!

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Our first floor is hardwood…they will actually run to the basement which is carpeted

  21. Gruhn Avatar

    Interesting. I have no cat experience except for a “hunting cat” my parents had for a while after I moved out that kept the mice away but would also kill everything else including my lower half. Therefore, I’m a dog person and my current dog actually jumps into the bathtub when she gets sick. She wasn’t trained to do this but somehow knows it’s easier for us to clean up!

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      That is an amazing dog. Maybe she figures she wants you to bathe her afterward

  22. Mark Stokes Avatar

    They can really get under our skin. And our carpets.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Over our carpets is fine. Under is a real pain

  23. frigginloon Avatar

    Oh I see, I see, pick on the darn pussy. Sure they are the spawn of satan but they make a great foot warmer. 🙂

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      ONly when they are stuffed and can’t claw you in the middle of the night when your toe wiggles

  24. Denny Fincke Avatar

    Until recently I was proud of my 8 year old Tuxedo cat Simone who unlike any other cat i’ve owned never threw up hairballs. Then two months ago she wasn’t eating so I took her to the vet where the xrays showed hair in her digestive track from one end to the other. Two xrays and one enema later ( $300 ) dollars I’m still proud but a little poorer.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      Just be glad that didn’t come up on your carpet. Yikes

  25. George Ford Avatar

    You captured this puuur-fectly, B! 😀

  26. Tyler Avatar

    Reason #5012 why I don’t own a cat.

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      There are so many

  27. Andro Avatar

    Yes and my cat likes to kick her tray litter over the edge,
    but that’s the beauty of owning a cat, up at all hours of the
    morning chasing down the scoop and wondering if there
    is a chance of her keeping the litter in the tray for once?

    Luckily it’s only surplus grit out of the
    tray, and nothing that rhymes with it 🙂 lol

    1. Bearman Cartoons Avatar

      haha I read kick as lick