How Hand Dryers SHOULD be Labeled
I am a firm believer in truth in advertising. This is how public bathroom air hand dryers SHOULD be labeled. I never get out of there without wiping my hands on my pants.
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‘truth’ ?
‘advertising’ ?
aren’t these words ‘antonyms’ ?
Maybe just a little.
That’s the most accurate instructions I’ve ever seen on one of those things. I always go for the pants wipe too. Even if I get them completely dry with the blower the pants wipe is just an automatic reaction
You win the prize for getting them completely dry.
Have you seen the new dyson hand dryers? those things really are kick a$$
I was using one of those when inspired by this. If you have 60 seconds to stand there moving your hands up and down while a line forms it works great.
Really the ones I have used are really good, and quick. hmm maybe the one you used was defective. lol
ohh and the Dyson doesn’t look like the one you drew?
I know…but people don’t universally know what a dyson hand dryer looks like and their instructions are different.
Well that’s true times two. I’ve the same issue as it takes forever to dry your hands with those things.
Have a terrific day.
They always say it is an energy saver but I am not sure how it saves energy when you have to keep it going forever.
Hahaha! So true…even in the Ladies Room.
There’s a Meeting in the Ladies Room…be back real soon.
HA! Hilariously accurate, Bearman!
I’ve pretty much started just skipping ahead to stage 3.
I just sneakily wipe my hands on the back of the guy walking out the door in front of me.
Hahaha… I bet that would make for an interesting fourth instruction panel…
(as would the resulting number five)!
There wouldn’t be a 5 if you are sneaky enough
absolutely! i was in a public bathroom that had that fanch air blade hand dryer from the guy who does those fancy vacuums. i came out of the bathroom and said to my girlfriend “that bathroom had one of those awesome airblade hand dryers…. which means my hands are still wet”
you gotta spend like 10 minutes getting those things to work right!
Exactly. As I said, I was actually using a dyson air dryer when I was inspired to draw this one.
This is so true! Very well done!!!
Thanks HH
The fact we need everything to be labeled in the first place is sad. We reward idiots. Maybe I’ll fall down city stairs and sue them for not having a sign telling me how to properly walk down them. ANGRY TANGENT!
Actually my wife was just in the restroom today with a woman from another country. She figured out how to turn it on but couldn’t figure out how to turn it back off..haha
So true it hurts. These should be called hand warmers instead. x
I used one to dry my hair at a water park once.
Push butt–. Rub hands under -arm air.
If I push my butt, I end up farting on my hands…..hmmm that might work better but I would probably have to wash my hands yet again.
That last pic is also considered our official mating symbol in Canadian nightclubs.
Just be sure the ugly Canadian women don’t get the wrong idea when a guy first comes out of the bathroom. He isn’t performing a mating call.
Word. Those damned things NEVER work.
Word? Does anyone use “Word” anymore..haha
I use Microsoft Word.
Hey don’t be dissin’ Word!
I guess we found one.
It seems half the people don’t even bother washing their hands anymore, so they probably don’t know what those things are for anyway.
I only wash my hands if there is someone else in the bathroom with me. haha I guarantee there are people that that is actually true for.
What ev.. I think American’s are too weird about handwashing. Just look how much power is wasted not to mention water. I’ll just say it: I only “sometimes” wash my hands but when I don’t I usually get weird looks from the other women (in America). For me it depends on how dirty the bathroom is. I never touch the flusher, I always use my shoe. Here in Thailand I rarely see women wash their hands afterward when sometimes they probably should. Who started the whole handwashing thing anyway? It’s way out of control! Good topic though- gets people talkin’.
I heard someone say “If I take out my clean penis and don’t piddle on my hand, I don’t wash. If I poop, I wash”
Oh, was that a guy wiping his hands on his pants? Silly me I thought he was going to use the hand dryer to dry his ….ah never mind.
hmmmm…that might feel good on a cold day.
I just hate it when someone posts my impending comment before I do! [grin]
You have to be quicker.
They could turn it the other way for women…. just a thought!
You are much taller than I thought.
I don’t know why the companies expect those things to do a suitable job. Whenever I see one, I just forgo the whole ordeal of washing my hands and say “Hello! Welcome to Subway!”
Which is funny since you work at McDonalds.
I just loiter there and panhandle for McNuggets.
You can heat them back up under the hand dryer.
Not so good for chocolates, though.
Too funny George!
I thought the third panel was telling us to use our hot dry hands to warm our genitals……
No then I would have drawn them IN the pants.
I like Myra’s idea better.
Then you would have a reason for your genitals to be wet.
Push button, receive bacon, put bacon in pants. Sounds good to me.
Now you know why I tagged this with “bacon” as well.
You are singing to the choir on this one.
Can’t technologists make air blow any faster?
Can’t they make water less wet?
I used one of those once that blew so hard I could see my skin rippling. Fascinating. Still didn’t dry my hands though…
Be careful or it may take you down to the bone.
That’s the new ones. They’re like the exhaust of a jet engine. And just about as loud.
Now a jet engine might work…but I think it might be bad for the environment.
What?! You mean they AREN’T bacon dispensers?!
Press the button and stick your mouth under it next time.
Not sure if it has been said yet but Dyson has some AWESOME hand dryers in Sam’s Club. You stick your wet hand into it and then it is dry in 10 seconds.
Here is a demonstration: http://www.dysonairblade.com/homepage.asp
Maybe I need a dyson class but I still have issues. If I can’t walk out the door finishing drying my hands (ala a towel) it doesn’t work for me.
paper please
I would even take those old fashioned things that kept rolling into themselves.
I hated those things. You never knew what germs were on them, or when they last cleaned them, if they ever did.
When they came out brown, you know they hadn’t been changed in a while.
Remember the old days when we would do our business, pump our soap, turn on the water, adjust the temperature, wash our hands. tap out some paper hand towels, dry our hands and leave? It ain’t so simple any more. It’s like the Jetsons in most public toilets now. Motion sensors spit out the soap, control the amount of the water and then we stand there for way more time than we need while those completely useless hand dryers just fling the water around. Wiping my hands on my pants brings some small satisfaction to the process.
Don’t get me started on the touch less faucets. I always stand there waving my hands waiting for them to work
Ha! Funny stuff!
Thanks mj
1. Wash hands 2. Wipe hands on pants 3. Dry pants with blow dryer,
Even better
This is so true, those damn things never work.
Thanks for stopping by Tom
Nice cartoon. Push button. Receive bacon. Engage in self-pleasure? Here’s more info on the Dyson hand dryer you were discussing.
http://www.restroomdirect.com/dyson-airblade.aspx
Whoa…so a Dyson is 4x the cost of a regular hand dryer. And the recoup costs takes how many years??
So true!
I only speak the truth.
That last picture looks a little erotic.
Calm down big boy!
I completely agree.
If air dryers had instructions like this, what would all the vandals who scratch “wipe hands on pants” onto them do with their time?
I have only seen the Bacon thing…I never have seen this. You must hang out in classier public johns than me.
well said. I wondered if it was just me.
Hahaha, so true! It doesn’t matter how I wash my hands, I always end up using my pants
As long as you aren’t washing your pants in the bathroom.
baaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaah. that is SO true.
loves it.
I hate those damn things. so useless. but not as useless as the GIANT towel that just went in a circle and kept recycling itself. wtf
I preferred those. Even though they were dingy and brown, at least my hands got dry.