Bearman Cartoon: Nicolas Cage Burial Suit

Bearman Cartoon - Nicolas Cage Superman Pyramid

So actor Nicolas Cage has decided that despite his financial issues and inability to reign in his purchases, he would prepare for his final resting place the best way he saw fit.  By purchasing a mausoleum in Louisiana shaped like a Pyramid.

It is no secret that old Nic fancies the man in tights either.  He wanted to play the title role when the Superman franchise was remade and his fanboy love drove him to name his son Kal-el (Superman’s real name from Krypton).  I am all for preparing so your family isn’t stuck with the bill and you can make sure your final wishes are fulfilled.  But, couldn’t you sort out some of your financial mess first.  I guess whatever he spent is just a drop in the bucket of the $14 million in taxes he currently owes.

Comments

70 responses to “Bearman Cartoon: Nicolas Cage Burial Suit”

  1. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

    Sounds to me like he is cutting back, Bearman. A 9ft pyramid? Come on, N.C. – according to Wikipedia the Great Pyramid was over 480 Ft. tall at the time of it’s construction! So sad. So very, very sad! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      True True. And will there be room for his wife in this pyramid???

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Alice Kim. Aren’t they still married?

          1. susispice Avatar

            didnt he marry another chick from a restaurant? or is this the same one?

            maybe she needed a green card?

          2. Bearman Avatar

            I’m too lazy to look it up right now.

      1. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

        AND I hope that thing has a security system (the IRS might have to try raid it)! 🙂

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Or the Paparazzi.

          1. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

            Over here! Look over here, mummified Nicholas Cage! 🙂

  2. DadaHyena Avatar

    What’s wrong with a good old-fashioned Viking funeral?

    Hell, if you want something memorable do what Hunter S. Thompson did: have your ashes shot out of a cannon!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I thought Vikings sent them out to see in a burning pile.

    2. lynn Avatar

      i love hunter s. thompson. now that was a man with imagination!

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Anyone has an imagination when they are high off their ass.

        1. lynn Avatar

          Right-O!!

  3. susispice Avatar

    I have the scoop

    there is a perfectly good explanation for all this…

    Cage saw a psychic who told him he was a great Pharaoh in a past life and so he saw that a pyramid was best fitting for him as he is also intending to be mummified once he is dead thanks to the IRS and he will live on in the next life …

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Well if he was a great pharoah he should have to pay for it. Get some people willing to build it. Or just move into an existing one. We already raped those for anything of value.

  4. Friggin Loon Avatar

    Geez, I’d have thought he would have wanted to be buried in an Elvis jumpsuit. Oh and be sure, Nicolas Cage will be living in that pyramid long before he dies if the IRS have anything to do with it. It’s probably the only property the taxman can’t get his mitts on! You should never trust your financial adviser fool !

    1. Bearman Avatar

      And here’s a simple thing for celebrities. Don’t let your business manager also be your accountant.

      1. Roland Avatar

        yeah, and don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Yeah …that too.

  5. FJ Avatar

    Maybe you could put an “IR” in front of the ‘S’.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Yes. But then it would have to include a circle with a line through it.

      1. FJ Avatar

        Good point…this is why I am not a cartoonist. 😉

  6. Friggin Loon Avatar

    Hey Bearman, me thinks your Nicolas Cage looks like Vincent Shiavelli…I’m just saying ….
    http://www.baybul.com/resimler/Resim-190309-1115/3856-vincent+schiavelli-1.jpg

    1. Bearman Avatar

      If only Vincent would do something crazy so I could put him in a cartoon.

      1. Friggin Loon Avatar

        Hmm, you just didn’t you? balahahaahahaha

        1. Friggin Loon Avatar

          there is a “did” in there somewhere 🙁

          1. Bearman Avatar

            I saw it Dunbo.

          2. susispice Avatar

            lmao – well i guess the upside is that because of me bearman invented a new word used to make fun off people

            LOL
            yay me!

          3. Friggin Loon Avatar

            Blahaha Susi Spice, something you can call your very own 🙂

          4. Bearman Avatar

            Dunbo – A person who mispells a word or uses grammar incorrectly. We are all Dunbo’s at some point or another.

          5. susispice Avatar

            I hold a pHD in Dunboness hehe 😀

          6. Bearman Avatar

            Yes. We refer to you as Doctor Dunbo

  7. kyknoord Avatar

    Ye gods! I am *so* jealous.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      You have some money laying around? I’ll build you one.

  8. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

    I can’t imagine how irresponsible you would have to be to owe $14 million in taxes. Don’t any of these rich guys know anything about math and about putting a little away for a rainy day. By the way, a real elaborate funeral down here would be to be buried in a double-wide mobile home.

    1. Roland Avatar

      unfortunately, these rich guys have other people handle their money. They don’t find out till it’s too late that they’ve been hornswaggled! I mean geez, you would think if you have “too much” money that you can’t handle it alone, the least you could do is monitor what is being done with it instead of just trusting someone to take care of it.

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Or at least say….you handle this part but I’ll handle the other 50%.

        1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

          If I made that much I would have at least a couple of million in cash buried somewhere. I don’t know if I could live the rest of my life on that but I sure would like to give it a try.

          1. Bearman Avatar

            I think $5 million should be enough to cover me.

  9. Roland Avatar

    you know if he were to wear that suit long enough, he might think he could just fly around the world really fast backwards and stop himself from hiring his accountant… then we’ll get to see that scene acted out from the Kick-Ass trailer. And on a side note, is it just me or does that guy in the bird suit look very much like that old Disney movie Condorman?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      All I have heard about Kick Ass is there is a potty mouth 12 year old.

      1. nursemyra Avatar

        That’ll appeal to the paedophile market…..

        1. Bearman Avatar

          And the pedophile one..haha

  10. jammer5 Avatar

    I’m sure nick will be living in his IRS owned pyramid long after he’s dead as well. I’m afraid the guy will never go away.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      He wont’ go away. Some of his plastic surgery will ensure that.

      1. Friggin Loon Avatar

        and hair plugs 🙁

        1. susispice Avatar

          u know who seems to live on forever without barely changing a wrinkle? the cast from Bold and Beatiful!

          1. Bearman Avatar

            I’ll take your word for it.

  11. David Avatar

    It’s all part of his pyramid scheme… wacka, wacka

    1. Bearman Avatar

      He’s here all night..haha

  12. George Avatar

    Maybe they could just drop him somewhere in the vicinity of the Fortress of Solitude and be done with it. 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I want a fortress of solitude. Maybe I’ll get one of these http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zentai

  13. Nate Fakes Avatar

    Cool. Maybe this will influence ‘Saved By The Bell’s’ Screech to bury himself in a locker.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      That’ might be all he can afford if he doesn’t get some acting gigs.

      1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

        The problem was that he was never acting. That’s really him.

  14. Friggin Loon Avatar

    I heard a rumor they are going to film National Treasure 3 around it (tax deductible people!).

    1. susispice Avatar

      lol

      National Treasure 3 – The Ultimate Escape from the IRS, Nicholas Cage as..Super Tax Dodger.. see him in your nearest cinema.. Nicholas Cage is The STD…

        1. susispice Avatar

          der that was the joKKKe

  15. Tony Avatar

    He looks rather spiffy in the supersuit. Can a mere pyramid hold a super hero??? I must admit that Guarding Tess is the only Nick movie I’ve ever seen & I quite liked it.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      That was good but the Rock was the best.

  16. lynn Avatar

    okay, don’t be hat’in because of this comment but nic cage is a horrible actor! the only movie he was actually good in (IMHO) was Raising Arizona. btw b-man, you did a fabulous job on the cartoon image of him. it was spot on!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Raising Arizona sucked. It was hilarious when it came out. Then I rewatched it and it sucked..haha

      national treasure, conair, the Rock. All classic.

  17. MJ Avatar

    I enjoy watching some of his movies, but not all. He seems a little off kilter. Funny materaial as usual. Ha!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      When you tend to be typecast in hollywood.

  18. Don Mills Avatar

    A good Nicolas Cage, Bearman. Looks just like him, actually. Nicely done.

  19. WriterDood Avatar

    What, he’s not being launched into space? Man, if I were NC, I’d definitely go for the space launch. He should spring for the full meal deal and have his brain frozen in carbonite and blasted off toward Alpha Centauri or something. Maybe aliens will find it and think it’s something valuable. Or it will end up as a paperweight on some alien’s desk. Who knows.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Could you imagine. Someone sending their brain matter to space only for aliens to use it for pool chalk.