The Expendables Cartoon

The Expendables Cartoon

Today folks is a special treat.  As I typically struggle with just one caricature in a cartoon, this week I had FOUR.

Sylvester Stallone’s new movie, The Expendables, was released on Friday.  It’s both a whos who and a whos that of action films.  The main guy in this cartoon is former Everybody Hates Chris dad, Terry Crews.  Before that show (and to some of you now) he is one of those “That Guys” in Hollywood where you might not know his name but you definitely have seen him in plenty of movies including the classic “White Chicks”.

But as I got to thinking about the other cast, they are known for either being misunderstood, monotone or mumbling their lines.

– Stallone – Mumbler
– Arnold Schwarzenegger – Misunderstood
– Li – Mumbler (and sometimes Misunderstood)
– Roarke – Mumbler and Misunderstood
– Jason Statham – Monotone
– Dolph Lundgren – Misunderstood
– Randy Coutoure – A who’s that unless you are a UFC fan (and I have never heard him talk)
– Stone Cold Steve Austin – A who’s that unless you are a Wrestling fan (but he has great mic skills)

So I could see Crews in this movie saying he wasn’t expendable as even the enemy needs him to interpret what these other guys are saying.  Yet I love all these guys movies because I am an action junky.  Though I think they should have included Richard Roundtree.

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Comments

81 responses to “The Expendables Cartoon”

  1. Nate Fakes Avatar

    I’m not too eager to see this one. Looks expendablly dumb

    1. bearman Avatar

      Which is why I can’t wait to see it.

  2. susi spice Avatar

    That guy from Everybody hates chris and white chicks is CLASSIC. he was hilarious in white chicks lol i loved it when one of the wayan brothers falls on him..takes off his mask and Terry says “youre youre…white!” haha oh good memories..

    1. bearman Avatar

      There were some dumb people in the Hamptons in that movie thinking 6′ guys somehow were women

      1. susi spice Avatar

        bahahaha yeah well im not shocked lol

  3. gallowaygrave Avatar
    gallowaygrave

    Bearman, thanks for putting me off the film!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I’m not putting you off it. I am just reminding you of what you are in for.

      1. gallowaygrave Avatar
        gallowaygrave

        Having been so, we will give it a WIDE berth!

  4. bschooled Avatar

    Awesome, B!

    I don’t know the other guys, but Rocky is looking…well, Rocky, and Arnie is in fine form. (“It’s notta tumah…”-sorry, I always have to say that. It’s like a disease or something.)

    ps. I’m trying to figure out stumbleupon as we speak. For some reason I always have problems with that account. I’ll be back!

    1. Ron-Yves Avatar

      Remember in Rocky when he tries to get Adrian back into his apartment by telling her he had cupcakes in there? I still use that line to this day—thanks Sly!

      1. Bearman Avatar

        But does it work for you?

        Personally I used to try the Terminator line “Your Clothes, Give them to me now”
        Never did work.

        1. Ron-Yves Avatar

          It has worked in the past—however, the kinda’ gal that chases a cupcake into a 1-bedroom apartment at 3 in the afternoon isn’t usually the type to brag about…

          Don’t tell anyone about this…

          1. Bearman Avatar

            I think she is also known as grandma.

    2. Bearman Avatar

      Classic Arnie line.

      I had some issues with SU too at the beginning. I think I have worked out 90% of my issues.

  5. Ron-Yves Avatar

    haha—I love this one Bearman…very funny…for more than a few reasons…

    What mean expendable?

    1. Bearman Avatar
  6. lisleman Avatar

    I’m not into action flicks much. I don’t understand how a Governor of CA can be in a movie while Governor. Or ex-gov Blago must really be jealous.

    I was catching up a bit and looked at a few previous posts.
    Good think you didn’t pickup on any “bear culture” action flicks.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Do you know something that I dont?

      Arnie only worked 1-2 days (so it was like a weekend) and I believe he donated his salary to charity.

  7. Jande Avatar

    Heh, the only guy I recognise is the guy from “Rocky”. But that’s not because of the art, its because I don’t watch TV, and only a very few movies. To me, all TV and most movies are “expendable”. ;`)

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Not me. I think I could be a successful cartoonists if I wasn’t addicted to the media.

      1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

        I have just abiut given it up completely since I staryted cartooning buty themm I have OCD.

        1. Bearman Avatar
          1. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

            I was on my Blackberry and couldn’t see what I was typing with my big clumsy thumbs. I actually was saying I have almost given up TV since I started cartooning but that’s because I may have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and can’t quit drawing and writing.

        2. Jande Avatar

          Oh! Is THAT what it’s called?! I always just thought it was the way creative people generally behave. Obsessive-Compulsive is a pretty good description of me, kind of the opposite of Attention Deficit Disorder. LOL
          I have a bi-polar, passive-agressive toaster though. :`)

  8. nursemyra Avatar

    Jason Statham does it for me 😉

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Love the Transporter movies.

    2. Walker Avatar

      Oh yes, he does it for me too… and I’d be glad to let him as well. something about these chiseled faces and the buzz cut!!

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Let him what?

    3. susi spice Avatar

      NM do you know that Jason S is quite a shortass!? i was quite disappointed to find that out… not that he and i would really have a problem since im little myself…but i dont want our kids to be shorties either! … or i am just getting too ahead of myself, he and i havent even chosen a wedding reception location yet..

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Whoa whoa…back up stalker!

  9. Friggin Loon Avatar

    More steroids that the Chinese Olympic team !!!!

    1. Friggin Loon Avatar

      “than” dunbo!

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Do we really define it as a dunbo move if you catch yourself?

        1. Friggin Loon Avatar

          Hmm, good point. I was just getting in thre before YOU did 🙂

          1. Bearman Avatar

            “thre” dunbo??

          2. susi spice Avatar

            lol

            ahhh i love how this word came aorund because of me!!! 😀 😀 😀

          3. Bearman Avatar

            I need to do a post of it.

  10. DadaHyena Avatar

    Reminds me of Mumbles from “Dick Tracy” (he was in both the comics and the movie, played by Dustin Hoffman). No one could understand the guy except for his henchmen.

    Now, a whole crew of guys talking like this should drive any audience insane.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Mumbles was great. I can’t believe Warren Beaty still thinks he is going to make another one.

      1. DadaHyena Avatar

        As far as I know the rights to ‘Dick Tracy’ are STILL tangled up in legal hell, twenty years later. By the time he wrestles the rights back, Beatty will be too old to play anyone but Pruneface!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          He would be perfect as pruneface. He looked constipated throughout the movie anyway.

  11. Scott Oglesby Avatar

    I can’t decide if the movie will be good or bad but I love the caricatures on this panel Bearman. I’d love to see the whole movie poster done in this vein.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Screw that! Four caricatures was taxing enough for me..haha

  12. Tony Avatar

    Your caricatures look better than those guys do in real life. I’d like to see Arnie at the top of the stairs that Sly runs to the top of in Rocky then say to him “Come with me if you want to live” then Sly tries to punch Arnie in the face with a right hook but Arnie then says “I’ll be back” but Sly replies with “Prepare to be judged” but before he can judge him Arnie says “Hasta La Vista Baby” & gets lowered into a vat of molten metal

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Maybe you should be writing action movies instead of Dixie lines.

      1. Dixie the Poodle Avatar

        Daddy dusent ryt my lyns. I wryt my own blog (wot a funny werd) posts

        1. Tony Avatar

          Yep that’s true what she said. You can see how different our spelling is. That proves it!!!

          1. Bearman Avatar

            That is true. Dixie is a much better speller than you are.

  13. jammer5 Avatar

    Now that’s a great toon. And I expect I’ll see the movie and wish I had the cracker man to interpret it for me.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Who’s the cracker man?

      1. jammer5 Avatar

        Chris. He uses cracker all the time, so I’ve always called him the cracker man.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Like we are in your brain to have known that.

          1. jammer5 Avatar

            Somethings gotta remain sacred 🙂

  14. jillsy Avatar

    I only recognize Arnie and Stallone and I don’t like Stallone.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Yo Jillsy!! Slys line to you: “Listen,I wanna kiss you. You don’t have to kiss me back if you don’t wanna. I wanna kiss you.””

  15. David Avatar

    HA! Bearman, I love this! It reminds me of that SNL skit with Frankenstein, Tonto, and Tarzan singing Christmas carols.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Those were great. I remember those. FIRE BAAAAADD!

  16. MJ Avatar

    Ha,ha,ha what a riot!

  17. George Avatar

    I would like to see this movie. If I could sit thru Ocean’s 11-13, I’m sure I can make it thru this one. 😀

    1. Bearman Avatar

      11 and 12 were great…13 was hard to take.

  18. Gruff Guano Avatar

    Sly is drawn very well. The others too, but that caricature is neat.

    I don’t feel like seeing this movie either. they should have called it

    “Have beens’ last fundraising”

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Number 1 movie of the week so looks like the old guys can still draw them in.

      I am waiting for them to take Mickey Rooney, Dick Van Dyke and someone else and remake the Sunshine Boys.

  19. Arts web show Avatar

    I just have to go and check out that film.
    You’ve sold it

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Maybe I can get a cut or something then?

  20. SpilledInkGuy Avatar
    SpilledInkGuy

    Hahaha … is it subtitled?! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Now that would be classic.

  21. John K Avatar
    John K

    this realization has caused me to rethink going to see it…. I guess I’ll just have to go see Scott Pilgrim again…. ho hum

    1. Bearman Avatar

      So Scott Pilgrim was just ho hum?

  22. blunt delivery Avatar

    if only this movie had nicolas cage, it would be an all-star cast.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      He definitely could use the money.

  23. Brad Avatar

    Gotta tell you though, after all these years listening to Stallone, interpreting his mumbles became second nature!

    Loved the movie, by the way.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Maybe they should hire you for the next one.

  24. Dan Avatar

    Dolph Lundgren is understandable, assuming he says “I must break you.” And since Stallone is in this movie I’m going to assume he said it just for kicks – Rocky IV, ah, memories.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      That would be hilarious if he did.

  25. Corve DaCosta Avatar

    I saw the trailer for this movie last night. I was impressed by the line up but questioned if its worth a watch.

    I hope I can understand it. 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I’ve seen some of the weird stuff you review so I am sure you can handle it.

  26. coupons for toys Avatar

    I am looking forward to seeing this movie. your right about the fact most of them are misunderstood or mumblers. Nice comic.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I know…my social calendar and work calendar have been so filled, I haven’t been able to see it. UGHHHHHH.

      1. coupons for toys Avatar

        Hopefully we can both clear our schedule and get a break. Don’t you love how even when it’s a holiday the internet doesn’t stop. It is so hard to pull away for a break sometime.

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