It is a well known fact that women tend to take over the bed at night. It is true in my house as well. I call my wife a “starfish” as she makes sure to take up as much room with her small frame as she possibly can in the bed. Add a couple cats in the mix and poor Bearman is smashed up against the edge of his side of the bed.
Recently my wife has been saying we need a new mattress because no matter how many times we turn the mattress my side of the bed is always sagging. REALLY???!!!!
My wife gets peeved because my side sags so much that she can’t stop rolling onto me throughout the night. She has to hang onto her side like it was a cliff edge. 😀
Maybe you need an air mattress? haha
I bounced her ass off an air mattress once. I laughed, but she didn’t.
Hahaha! One time, while sleeping on an air mattress while visiting my sister, my wife got up suddenly and I rolled and fell the opposite side. Not a good way to wake up, I promise.
That needs to be on video George
I think this could be seen as something naughty over
Valentine’s weekend, all that bouncing around I mean 🙂
Or a Ringling Brothers act.
Ha Ha Ha!!!
Sorry, I can’t go with you on this one. I have to stay as close to the edge as possible and often I have one leg out with my foot on the floor. Lately He-Who has taken to flinging his arms around in bed and I have gotten nailed several times. The other night he smacked me good and I woke up and went downstairs to sleep. The next morning I said I could figure out why I woke up. He just said, “Oh, I belted you again.” There are no sagging sides but there is a lot of dodging and weaving on my part.
My friend’s wife had restless leg syndrome and she was constantly kicking him in the middle of the night. I think she was just kicking him for the hell of it.
I tried to use that one. Unfortunately my Doc wouldn’t back me up.
Try another doctor! 🙂
Fer shure. My wife does this all the time.
See see see
Replace the pic of the cat with a dog and you got my situation! 🙂
Sad Sad household.
I take the covers. I don’t take over the bed though, but you better have a death grip on those covers or I’ll have most of them.
Have a fabulous day. 🙂
I don’t like any covers except on my feet!!! Need my feet covered!
Just wear socks! You should at least wear something, Bearman!
I really like the cat compounding the situation.
Sadly in our house there are 3 of them but I didn’t want to make us seem that weird.
Blahahahaha you mean weirder
Yes that too
Oh, so that’s what that was.
Don’t forget about that special ability to levitate six inches off the mattress, roll 360 degrees in mid air, thus cocooning themselves in the blanket. #blankethogs
I don’t mind that cuz I don’t like a blanket except for my feet. My wife keeps it so damn hot in our house it is like a greenhouse.
I’m not sure one gender has the problem more than the other. The size of the bed makes a big difference. Also, the only animals in bed should be the people when they are in the mood to act like an animal.
We have a king size bed and it seems I am always teetering on the edge of despair (or the mattress) And the animals know when they are not wanted
Our bed looks like that! Except our cat takes up twice as much space.
Sure sure…blame it on the cat.
I know one should never judge a book by its cover, but your avatar brought me in to your site. It is so beautiful…
Nef Christina does some amazing work
thats the only reason while this 16 year old man will not get married im married to art
Nate….art won’t keep you warm at night (ok you could burn it)
There are good things about being married!
Wise man, Nate. Stay free! :OP
In R.E.M. it’s every man, woman, and cat for themselves.
The sleep pattern or the band?
We are the opposite. I get pushed back to my side a lot
That’s cuz you snore
How do you know? 🙂 lol
I googled it.
Starfish! I’m sure your wife loves that one!
It’s better than my old girlfriend, “Octopus”
She takes me well Peter.
You’re a lucky man!
Don’t think I don’t know it.
Ha, ha! I can relate.
Especially last night… :/
We should form the brotherhood of the saggy mattress.
As long as we’re Talking about sagging………
You have something to ADD to the conversation?
You’re right, I apologize for the poor attempt at humor. . I would recommend the sleep number bed wholeheartedly. You each get to pick your firmness of the bed and there is no sagging. I don’t sell them I just have one. There is also something to be said for the separate beds on the Dick Van Dyke show. People think that that means there is a problem in the marriage but separate beds could actually save some!
Then there’s the trouble of pushing the beds together for some monkey-bizness :OP
haha. I was trying to make my own return attempt at humor Gruhn and it didn’t work.
Looked at those beds but damn they are expensive. But if they last 2x as long might be worth it.
Yes sagging mattress syndrome is a common dilemma, in fact it dates back to Neanderthal times when going out, or clubbing as it is better known in the 21st century was also common, but in those days men were too busy dragging females around the bedroom by the hair to worry about anything sagging. So what does this have to do with the sagging mattress posting? Well not a lot but at least you enjoyed reading about it 🙂 lmao
haha. You had me until the end, riveted that there was a point to this lesson. Alas…
i often write a lot of nonsense, hust calling into my Space proves that 🙂 lol Have a great day today Bearman and thank you for calling into my world on the edge, it’s funny but I was transported to your older Space from the comment you left me, so a trip through time, but I still enjoyed looking through your old Space 🙂 The last time that you posted there was back in 2010 so how about that for time travelling 🙂 Have fun today and keep adding your uniqueness, your website rocks 🙂
And if you can believe the crap typing skills, it makes one wonder how
I even have a blog 🙁 lower case ‘I’ and hust for just, whatever next? 🙂 lol
Argh I can’t believe it went to my old account. Wonder what is up with that.
This is why many years gone by, married couples slept in separate beds.
Only if you are a 50’s sitcom
I never understood that as a kid.
Also, Ernie and Bert sleep in separate beds.
Because in the 50’s they couldn’t show them in a fornicating position.
Ernie and Bert?!
I know that now, Bearman, My first girlfriend showed me…
Yes, Binky. Ernie and Bert are a couple. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! :OP
I’ve been single for 10+ years but until recently have kept the joys of my Cal King bed. A divet? You bet. Gotta say there’s nothing more depressing than a sagging mattress on one side of the bed…becasue you’re the only one ever in it!
Maybe you should try doing it Amish Style Bearman: a finely crafted bed board to keep your side pristine. Think of the aerobic exercise you’ll get when you want to climb over and snuggle up 🙂
Laughed at your ‘starfish’ description. Perfect.
You could always flip the mattress around if you don’t want to sleep on the other side of the bed.
Manifest destiny, bedroom style.
I always have to look up your references Tyler haha j/k
So true! My wife also hogs the covers so now we each have our own.
We can’t flip our mattress because it has a sewn in “pillow top” feature. We can only turn it.
That’s what we do…turn turn and turn.
We have a massive California king mattress.. . or as we call it, “sea of bed”!
Why are those shorter is all I want to know.
This comic is almost TOO true, if that’s possible!!
Let’s see if the next one is too