How Hand Dryers SHOULD be Labeled

Editorial Cartoon - How Hand Dryers Should be Labeled

I am a firm believer in truth in advertising.  This is how public bathroom air hand dryers SHOULD be labeled.  I never get out of there without wiping my hands on my pants.

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93 Responses to “How Hand Dryers SHOULD be Labeled”

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  1. duncanr says:

    ‘truth’ ?

    ‘advertising’ ?

    aren’t these words ‘antonyms’ ? 😉

  2. Tony McGurk says:

    That’s the most accurate instructions I’ve ever seen on one of those things. I always go for the pants wipe too. Even if I get them completely dry with the blower the pants wipe is just an automatic reaction

  3. Have you seen the new dyson hand dryers? those things really are kick a$$

  4. Comedy Plus says:

    Well that’s true times two. I’ve the same issue as it takes forever to dry your hands with those things.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  5. Hahaha! So true…even in the Ladies Room.

  6. HA! Hilariously accurate, Bearman!
    I’ve pretty much started just skipping ahead to stage 3. 🙂

  7. colm ryan says:

    absolutely! i was in a public bathroom that had that fanch air blade hand dryer from the guy who does those fancy vacuums. i came out of the bathroom and said to my girlfriend “that bathroom had one of those awesome airblade hand dryers…. which means my hands are still wet”

    you gotta spend like 10 minutes getting those things to work right!

  8. This is so true! Very well done!!!

  9. Jay says:

    The fact we need everything to be labeled in the first place is sad. We reward idiots. Maybe I’ll fall down city stairs and sue them for not having a sign telling me how to properly walk down them. ANGRY TANGENT! 😀

    • Bearman says:

      Actually my wife was just in the restroom today with a woman from another country. She figured out how to turn it on but couldn’t figure out how to turn it back off..haha

  10. Impshum says:

    So true it hurts. These should be called hand warmers instead. x

  11. MC/Curtis says:

    Push butt–. Rub hands under -arm air.

    • Bearman says:

      If I push my butt, I end up farting on my hands…..hmmm that might work better but I would probably have to wash my hands yet again.

  12. bschooled says:

    That last pic is also considered our official mating symbol in Canadian nightclubs.

    • Bearman says:

      Just be sure the ugly Canadian women don’t get the wrong idea when a guy first comes out of the bathroom. He isn’t performing a mating call.

  13. DadaHyena says:

    Word. Those damned things NEVER work.

  14. Binky says:

    It seems half the people don’t even bother washing their hands anymore, so they probably don’t know what those things are for anyway.

    • Bearman says:

      I only wash my hands if there is someone else in the bathroom with me. haha I guarantee there are people that that is actually true for.

      • Lynn says:

        What ev.. I think American’s are too weird about handwashing. Just look how much power is wasted not to mention water. I’ll just say it: I only “sometimes” wash my hands but when I don’t I usually get weird looks from the other women (in America). For me it depends on how dirty the bathroom is. I never touch the flusher, I always use my shoe. Here in Thailand I rarely see women wash their hands afterward when sometimes they probably should. Who started the whole handwashing thing anyway? It’s way out of control! Good topic though- gets people talkin’.

  15. Friggin Loon says:

    Oh, was that a guy wiping his hands on his pants? Silly me I thought he was going to use the hand dryer to dry his ….ah never mind.

  16. George says:

    I don’t know why the companies expect those things to do a suitable job. Whenever I see one, I just forgo the whole ordeal of washing my hands and say “Hello! Welcome to Subway!”

  17. nursemyra says:

    I thought the third panel was telling us to use our hot dry hands to warm our genitals……

  18. Turbo Sloth says:

    Push button, receive bacon, put bacon in pants. Sounds good to me.

  19. planetross says:

    You are singing to the choir on this one.

    Can’t technologists make air blow any faster?

  20. Jande says:

    What?! You mean they AREN’T bacon dispensers?!

  21. Scholar Mel says:

    Not sure if it has been said yet but Dyson has some AWESOME hand dryers in Sam’s Club. You stick your wet hand into it and then it is dry in 10 seconds.

  22. Mark Stokes says:

    Remember the old days when we would do our business, pump our soap, turn on the water, adjust the temperature, wash our hands. tap out some paper hand towels, dry our hands and leave? It ain’t so simple any more. It’s like the Jetsons in most public toilets now. Motion sensors spit out the soap, control the amount of the water and then we stand there for way more time than we need while those completely useless hand dryers just fling the water around. Wiping my hands on my pants brings some small satisfaction to the process.

  23. MJ says:

    Ha! Funny stuff!

  24. Bo Lumpkin says:

    1. Wash hands 2. Wipe hands on pants 3. Dry pants with blow dryer,

  25. Tom Falco says:

    This is so true, those damn things never work.

  26. chris says:

    Nice cartoon. Push button. Receive bacon. Engage in self-pleasure? Here’s more info on the Dyson hand dryer you were discussing.

  27. James says:

    That last picture looks a little erotic.

  28. I completely agree.

  29. If air dryers had instructions like this, what would all the vandals who scratch “wipe hands on pants” onto them do with their time?

  30. well said. I wondered if it was just me.

  31. alecho says:

    Hahaha, so true! It doesn’t matter how I wash my hands, I always end up using my pants 🙂

  32. baaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaah. that is SO true.

    loves it.

    I hate those damn things. so useless. but not as useless as the GIANT towel that just went in a circle and kept recycling itself. wtf

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