Redneck Toenail Dryer

Redneck Toenail DryerSo there IS a story behind this Nate Fakes original cartoon.  Nate Fakes of Mad Magazine, Break of Day and commenting here fame was having an ebay auction where the winner would get a custom cartoon created of anything they wanted.

Well timing was good because I just had a cartoon worthy experience with the lovely wife.  My wife had just got back from a pedicure to scrub all the debris and fungus off her feet (just kidding honey – not that she reads my blog anyway) and went to get dressed for dinner with our friends.  She came downstairs looking beautiful in her black dress and yet was complaining that due to the humidity her toenails wouldn’t dry.

The next thing I know this person, who hates the cold and keeps our house in the mid 70’s in the winter, was sitting on the kitchen floor for 10 minutes with her feet in the freezer!  After five minutes, I snapped a picture that subsequently made the rounds with all our friends and family.   Thankfully she puts up with me.

But of course, I couldn’t let it end there.  When I saw Nate’s plea for bids I jumped at the chance to have it immortalized in cartoon form.  And this is the result.

Nate is doing another auction this week for a custom cartoon so go check it out and follow Break of Day on Facebook to keep updated on new cartoons and future auctions.

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71 Responses to “Redneck Toenail Dryer”

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  1. Dave Hambidge says:

    She looks a bit manic to me…

  2. Jason says:

    With how hot it gets where I live, I’d put my feet in there with or without nail polish.

  3. Nate Fakes says:

    I’m like the Wal-Mart in the custom cartoon business – CHEAP! (At least for now…sine there are no bids as of this morning.)

    Glad you enjoy your ‘toon, Bearman! I hope your wife enjoys it as well. If she would like a Redneck Fingernail Dryer cartoon to go with it, let me know.

    • MJ says:

      Ha, that’s some funny stuff all around.

      As for those auction things this year. The economy is keeping bids low. I just had a few originals up for bid on 8.5″x 5″ cards, these usually fetch around $100, but with the economy that was cut in half this year.

  4. Jillsy Girl says:

    Why is she wearing a white blouse, if she had a black dress on?? 😉

    For future reference, tell her she can run cold water over them once the polish is semi-dry to help set it. For feet (and wearing a dress!), she could do it from sitting on the side of the bathtub.

    • Bearman says:

      What? He is t allowed to take creative license? Someone else told her that trick AFTER the pic made the rounds but I will pass it on again.

  5. Comedy Plus says:

    Bwahahahahahahaha. I never thought of this. I’ll have to give it a try.

    Have a terrific day and my best to your wife. Just saying. 🙂

  6. Hahaha…
    that’s what those ‘crisper’ drawers are built for, right?!

  7. jb says:

    Love it my friend. If all else fells she can though her supper.

  8. What a perfect memory for your wife. And as long as the toes dried, that’s all that matters!

  9. Midtoon says:

    I live in “Sunny California”, but the only reason I don’t have a problem with my toenail enamel drying up is that I don’t wear any, being a guy and all.

    Anyway, “Sunny California” does not apply to where I live. Right now, the outdoors air conditioner is at 52 degrees and we have 100% humidity. How’s that for the middle of the Summer? One would think that we lived in the Southern Hemisphere.

    Anyway, nice cartoon, Nate.

  10. Sheila Deeth says:

    Wouldn’t have thought of that. I thought everyone trailed fingers (and toes?) out of car windows to dry them. Maybe “modern” redneck.

  11. George says:

    Your wife’s pretty smart with her obsession. I ‘ll show this to mine and see what she says. Great comic, Nate! 🙂

  12. Mark Stokes says:

    Congrats on a great piece, Bearman. Fun stuff. Your wife could give Methuselah a run for his patience money.

  13. lisleman says:

    Hey you got any of that toe-jam ice cream left?

  14. Tony McGurk says:

    Ha Your wife must be happy now that the whole world knows…

  15. Hey is there any cheese in that fridge???

  16. nursemyra says:

    couldn’t you have just driven to the nearest drugstore and bought her some of that spray on nail polish hardener?

    • Bearman says:

      Another bit of advice I’ll pass along to her for the next time. You would think that fancy toenail joint would have put some on her.

  17. G says:


    Like, ya’ll want fries with that?

  18. Lynn says:

    Funny story and great toon btw! Now what we want to know is when do we get to see the picture that others have already seen? 🙂 Also here’s what I do when my nails won’t dry, feel free to pass it on to the Mrs. Put water in a bowl and add ice and wet polish. Something about the ice-water will seal up tacky nailpolish in less than a minute! Trust me on this.

    • Bearman says:

      We all don’t want to know…just nosy Lynn. haha j/k

      Another option for next time though I think the ice water might be too cold for her even compared to the freezer.

      • Lynn says:

        Did you just call me “nosy Lynn”? I think you did. Pffft.. ice water too cold? Surely you realize the pain we endure to look good. Just ask any gal who’s ever had a Brazilian wax. Yeeeeooww…..

  19. Friggin Loon says:

    Lucky she didn’t have problems drying her hair 🙁

  20. Binky says:

    So now you can call your wife Cold Toes!

  21. Hahaha! Cold toes…warm heart. Great story. 🙂

  22. DadaHyena says:

    Ha! You beat Jeff Foxworthy to this joke. I’ll bet he’s sore.

  23. bschooled says:

    Your wife and I would get along fabulously.

  24. I hate the cold too, and since my freezer is on top, it would be hard for me to copy her invention… but I think be all can agree to change the redneck part. We females endure much pain to be beau-ti-ous for our males, “Female ‘only’ nail dryer” would service 😉

    • Bearman says:

      haha Grammy so true. I for one would not want to be waxed, prodded and shaped into clothing for the benefit of my mate.

  25. Will says:

    That’s funny! And the thing about your wife is funny too. I don’t think my wife has read a single post of mine in all these past 5 years of my blogging. She does read and comment on my writing in local newspapers, etc. though. I guess she think writing online is not the same thing or something.

    • Bearman says:

      My wife does look at every cartoon I draw and critiques them. She isn’t as nice as the rest of you when someone’s caricature doesn’t look like them.

      She could care less about the online world. She isn’t on linkedin, facebook or anything like that.

  26. hen weekend says:

    Greaty depends on the polish, the number of coats and the humidity. I am usually careful for at leat an hour after a pedicure….The polish you are using is crappy. Start over and use a better one…

  27. you and I, we have a lot in common in exploiting our loved ones.

    I wish i could stay longer, but your site colors LITERALLY make my eyes go nuts and I can’t see anything for ten minutes after I leave.

  28. hen weekend says:

    i think The polish you are using is crappy. Start over and use a better one…

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