Tag: Elvis

  • Bearman Cartoon: How Elvis Died

    Bearman Cartoon - How Elvis Died

    Along with Monday’s post, this makes my second entry into Dialogue Free Comics Day.  Check out some other entries.

    I was all excited when I heard this story last week and several days went by without the Loonpicking up on the story (cause the girl has every tabloid on her RSS reader).  But then friggin Duncan had to post it on Mad Hatters.   While it is old news that Elvis suffered from constipation, it has recently been openly discussed by his personal physician the issues he had with it.

    Seems it wasn’t the drugs or the peanut butter and fried chicken sandwiches that did him in, but rather constipation.  See Elvis couldn’t take a normal healthy constitution.  In fact he went days nay weeks without so much as a rabbit turd making its way to the sewers.  All that weight gain was caused by a failure to clean the bowels.  In fact pictures taken weeks apart would show Elvis looking like he either gained or lost 20 lbs depending on if he could relieve himself.

    Personally when I strain I think I am going to have a stroke…but lo and behold he went and strained so much for so long that his heart finally gave out.

    Back then I guess Immodium wasn’t so popular and he could have had a colostomy but he feared pooping himself onstage and unfortunately vanity did not serve him well.  His autopsy revealed his colon was way bigger than the norm and they found 4-5 month old feces still in him.  YUCK.

    Don’t forget the charity challenge. Click link for how you can help at no cost to you.

  • Bearman Cartoon: Elvis Jackson

    It must be tough being an Elvis Impersonator these days. People who were alive when Elvis was are becoming older and now with the untimely death of Michael Jackson, you will have all his impersonators cashing in. Them along with people hawking t-shirts and other unlicensed crap (as well as the occassional editorial cartoonist taking advantage of the situation).

    So my three predictions:

    1. Michael Jackson Impersonators will be getting alot of work.
    2. Debbie Rowe will come out and say Michael is NOT the biological father of his children in her attempt to get custody (or at least more money)
    3. Someone will link prediction 2 with Billy Jean (ie. The kids not my son) in either song or late night joke form.

    6 28 09 Bearman Cartoon Michael Jackson Elvis Impersonator copy

    Follow me via TWITTER updates.

    ONE DAY LEFT… so spread the word about my charity challenge. Click the image below for details.

    Bearman,Charity