Category: Beartoons

Damian Lewis Billions

Damian Lewis is set to star in a new Showtime series called “Billions” next year. Lewis (Homeland, Band of Brothers) plays Bobby Axelrod, a hedge fund guru and Paul Giamatti (Sideways, Saving Private Ryan) plays Chuck Rhoades, the U.S. Attorney trying to bring Axelrod down. I am looking forward to the show and the trailer ends with a great quote. “What’s the point of having fuck you money if you never say “fuck you.” So of course I had to do a Damian Lewis caricature and the quote. Here is the trailer:

___________________________

99Blast on Kickstarter

The Kickstarter for 99Blast the card game is still going on. So if you have some fuck you money lying around, don’t let it go to waste. If you can, take a look and spread the word. Kicktraq shows the progress below.

November 10, 2015
Vote No on Issue 3

Ohio voters will go to the polls this week to vote on whether or not to allow the legal growing and distribution of marijuana in the state. I am saying Vote No on Issue 3.

Not for any moral issues on my part. However I truly believe that medical marijuana should be federally legal. If there is a drug that could provide legitimate sufferers some relief from whatever medical condition they are suffering from I don’t think the government should mandate it’s legitimacy. From a personal note, I have never smoked the stuff nor do I plan to but my fiscal side says we are spending millions incarcerating people for it and the market still exists without any tax money going to state/local governments.

So given the tide of states passing marijuana laws, I think it will be coming to Ohio. But Issue 3 is not the answer. The problem comes in the way the issue was placed on the ballot. 10 investment groups got together with their celebrity friends and each will be awarded one of the grow farms should the measure pass. So my no vote is against a predetermined group of winners. It was the same when the casinos were placed on the ballot. I was for the casinos but against a predetermined group getting the keys to the state.

Rather I would prefer that if you are going to limit the number of pot farms in Ohio to 10, to have a silent bid system if the measure passed. Sure the “fat cats” would still be the winners but it wouldn’t be predetermined ones and it would throw a huge investment into the state prior to the growth of the first bud.

________________

99Blast on Kickstarter

The Kickstarter for 99Blast the card game is still going on. If you can, take a look and spread the word. Kicktraq shows the progress below.

November 1, 2015
Republicans on Halloween

Halloween is almost upon us and it is time for Trick or Treating. Unfortunately it seems with the round of candidates up for the Presidential Nominee, it is the Republican Party that is playing tricks on us. So sure a kid seemingly dressed as a ghost is more likely a moderate Republican (or what 20 years ago was the mainstream of the party), hiding his face in shame for what the party has become.

Republicans continue to hearken back to the Reagan era, but pundit after pundit will tell you that Reagan would be unelectable in today’s Republican Party. See here and here. Starting with the Clinton era, forged in the Bush era and solidified in the Obama era, both parties have moved further and further from the center and would rather see the other side lose than to get things done for the country.

Is it just the party or has the populace moved away from the center as well?

Bonus points if you get the title of this cartoon: “We all have a face that we hide away forever” Without looking it up of course

________________

99Blast on Kickstarter

The Kickstarter for 99Blast seems to have come to a standstill over the past several days. We hit 20% funded in the first 3 days but nothing in the past 2. If you can, take a look and spread the word. Kicktraq shows the progress below.

October 29, 2015
Bernie Sanders Goes Back to the Future

Today is October 21, 2015. Any view of Social Media in the last week and you should know by now that today has been dubbed Back to the Future Day. In the BTTF II, Marty travels to 2015 to save his kids. This is the date he traveled to.

So of course I couldn’t resist a good mash up between Back to the Future and our current political campaigns. Enter Bernie Sanders. I always thought his hair resembled that of Doc Brown, played by Christopher Lloyd in the movies.

The fun fact is courtesy of this post which states that in order to produce the same energy as the Flux Capacitor in the movies, you would need 1 1/2 Nuclear Reactors or 600 Wind Turbines. That’s a lot of wind.

October 21, 2015
Trump and Clinton – The Connection

Donald Trump is an astute political investor having donated to candidates on both sides of the aisle. However his history with donating and supporting Hillary Clinton has some conspiracy theorists wondering why threw his name in for the Republican Primary. Could it be that this was just an elaborate ruse set up by the Clinton campaign to screw up the Republican Primary. Imagine a plan to having the other candidates fall all over themselves trying to be just as obnoxious and unapologetic as Trump which could help a Hillary victory in the general election.

September 22, 2015
Kim Davis and Kathy Bates Cartoon Mashup

I bring you the Kim Davis and Kathy Bates (Misery) Mash up. Watching the news on the Clerk in Kentucky who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, her outfit reminded me of ones Kathy Bates wore in Misery. Someone else must have noticed it too because I saw floating around a photo image that had something like “Separated at Birth”

I know the line from Misery is “You’re just another lying, old, dirty birdy”, but there isn’t just one in this case it seems. It’s all of us. Enjoy the weekend. Don’t take any sledgehammers to the leg.

September 4, 2015
Sneezing Etiquette

I never understood sneezing etiquette. I always tend to sneeze in my hand. Then after I sneeze I can either wash my hand if necessary or use some hand cleaner to eradicate any lingering germs. But everyone always tells me I am doing it wrong and that is unsanitary. Rather, the proper way to sneeze is to do so in the crook of your arm.

HOWEVER, it seems like every time I try to follow the etiquette proscribed, I hock a huge wad of phlegm out of my mouth and nose as shown in today’s cartoon. So now I am walking around with a huge loogie on my arm trying to conceal the fact that it is there from others. And of course I have to run to the bathroom to try and clean snot off my shirt.

So what gives? Anyone have the same predicament? How do you sneeze? And for those that comment….”BLESS YOU.”

August 31, 2015
Understanding German – Schmuck

Today’s lesson in understanding German is on the word “Schmuck”. Signage everywhere in Germany/Austria have some version of this word such as here:

No this isn’t a passageway for jerks. Schmuck in German means “jewelry” or “adornment” so some variation of it is used on signage by Jewelers. This is not to be confused with the same word derived from Yiddish that means a “foolish or contemptible person” or literally the word for a male appendage.

Missed the first two words. Check out the definitions for Rathaus and Ausfahrt

August 21, 2015
Understanding German – Ausfahrt

Having never been exposed to much German except for a few bars of Wayne Newton’s Danke Schoen (thanks Ferris Bueller – you are a righteous dude), I was pleasantly surprised at all the words I found funny traveling the last few weeks in Europe. So today I give you the first German word that might need translation for those of us not so up on our Germanic languages.

AUSFAHRT– noun

1. Garage Exit

2. Highway Exit Ramp

Now of course we Americans giggle like little school girls when we try to say it because invariably it always comes out “Ass Fart” Again I claim it still works as the gas is exiting from your system through your ass.

August 12, 2015
Damn Confusing French Words

Those damn confusing Middle French words will screw you up every single time.

Duvet – (origin Middle French) noun

1. a usually down-filled quilt, often with a removable cover; comforter.

Bidet- (origin Middle French) noun

1. a low, basinlike bathroom fixture, usually with spigots, used for bathing the genital and perineal areas.

(Source)

In getting ready to go on a trip, my wife dictated a list of items we needed to do/get. One of them was to clean the comforter. So in my list I wrote, “Clean Duvet”. She hadn’t ever used the term duvet and thought I had thrown a joke in the list and when I questioned her, she said pretty much what the cartoon implies.

Ever been confused by similar sounding words/phrases? Be out of touch for the next couple weeks (or minimal) so talk amongst yourselves.

July 26, 2015