Internet Dating Sucks – Cartoons II

Dating a Clown by Bearman Cartoons

 

Internet Dating Complaints by Bearman Cartoons

As promised, here is part 2 of drawings I did about 7 years ago for a book I never published called “Internet Dating Sucks”. For more on the backstory and to see part one of the images, click here.

Comments

84 responses to “Internet Dating Sucks – Cartoons II”

  1. George Avatar

    I love both both of these cartoons, Bearman! You really need to do something with them especially since Internet Dating has sucked even more over the past seven years. I’ll help ya!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Maybe I could just get guest cartoons of folks re-imagining the jokes in these

  2. MJ Avatar

    Outrageous funny. These are cool.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thanks MJ and thanks for sharing on G+

  3. nursemyra Avatar

    I met Stephen via the internet 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      But how many frogs did you have to go through first?

      1. nursemyra Avatar

        None! I was an internet virgin.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          You should be on Ripleys Believe it or Not then.

  4. lisleman Avatar

    Was the first one before they included pictures in the profile?
    Women are so fussy about comedy such as no jokes during sex – what’s up with that?

    1. Jande Avatar

      not all women. ;`)

      1. Bearman Avatar

        1. Not everyone posts a picture and
        2. Not everyone posts THEIR OWN picture

        1. George Avatar

          I met my wife thru a profile that had an entirely different photo than was hers.

          1. Bearman Avatar

            So you married a liar? haha

          2. George Avatar

            She married one too, so it was only fitting. 🙂

          3. Bearman Avatar

            I wondered what my picture was doing in YOUR profile.

  5. jynksie Avatar

    You’ve had the gift all along magi! o.O [grin]

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Why you calling me Maggie?

      1. jynksie Avatar

        Surely, you jest! [wink]

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Now you call me Shirley?

  6. Mark Stokes Avatar

    Cartoon #1: “I’m just a honka honka burnin’ love, baby!”
    Cartoon #2: In the immortal words of Aerosmith, “Dream On! Dream On! Dream On!”

    1. Bearman Avatar

      haha HONK HONK

      I ran across a few who had little to give but wanted a whole lot. One told me based on what I did for a living I couldn’t possibly support her.

      1. George Avatar

        I think I ended up falling for my wife because she was the first person to respond to me with legitimate questions about my art instead of your average, initial repulsion.:)

        1. Bearman Avatar

          did the repulsion come later? hahah

          1. George Avatar

            It’s reached the indifference stage so far, quickly to be followed by the Let’s Go Out To Dinner On Your Huge Project Wonderful Profits stage heaped on with heavy sarcasm.

  7. Tim Green Avatar

    Never had to internet date, been married 25 years. These two comics make me glad I never had to! 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      HOld tightly to that wonderful wife of yours then.

  8. Jande Avatar

    I met my husband via a game-simulation newsgroup, corresponded for about two years since we lived about 4k miles apart, and then we met in person. You couldn’t call it “dating” though until we met in person. For us it was more like the times before telephone was invented; long and fascinating letters (email) to each other.

    Those are good cartoons you made. They described my fears once we’d decided to meet in person. LOL Fortunately he’s just as sweet and fascinating in person. <3

    1. Bearman Avatar

      So did you date long distance? How did that work out?

      Didn’t you talk on the phone??

    2. George Avatar

      My wife and I “dated” for two years (nothing but phone calls and e-mails. No Skype or webcamera) before we ever met. It felt like I was cheating on her with her when we first got together. It’s a very strange feeling.

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Two years? I met someone that live in another city. Everything went great and we talked for hours on the phone for a month. Finally I decided to just jump in the car and drive up there to see her. Neither of us felt anything.

        1. George Avatar

          We were both afraid that we had ran our well dry before physically met, but we hadn’t. We hit it off lovely. It was weird “knowing” someone’s voice for two years, but having to learn whether they were hand-wavers when they spoke. Did they walk funny? Did they eat with their hands and not utensils. This is stuff you really take for granted if it’s not a part of your daily life.

          It was weird meeting her. She smelled great. She was even prettier than I always imagined or saw in her photos. We got to hold each other and hug. It truly felt like I was cheating on her with her. My mind could hardly take it for the first hours or so. I kept asking her where the pause button was so I oucl reflect on the situation. 🙂

          1. Bearman Avatar

            Pause button is a trip to the bathroom where she wonders if you are taking a break or taking a dump.

  9. Comedy Plus Avatar

    I think I dated that clown. I’m pretty sure of it. Like them both and the last one made me spew my water all over the monitor.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I take no responsibility for having to purchase anyone new computer equipment.

  10. Binky Avatar

    Dating the internet is overrated. Too much data and not enough substance.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      But sometimes you might get a little Byte.

  11. Jim Avatar

    What is this ‘dating’ you speak of?

    1. Jim Avatar

      Hmm. Well, whatever it is, sounds carbon neutral enough . . .

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Didn’t realize you were THAT old.

  12. MC/Curtis Avatar

    That would be a cool book. How about for one : You look nothing like your profile picture of that vampire girl from Twilight. Oh ya? Well despite the costume… your no Batman.

    I never had a worsse time dating than when I tried internet dating. I guess it works for some. My friend married his internet date, and I’d never tell him so, but they are a horrible match.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Unless of course your friend reads my blog, and then you have just told him.

    2. George Avatar

      Are you referring to me, buddy? 🙂

      1. Bearman Avatar

        No…you are a perfect match.

        1. George Avatar

          The only perfect match I know are my moobs.

          1. Bearman Avatar

            No…those are lopsided too.

          2. George Avatar

            It’s only the nipples that are lopsided, thank you.

  13. Red Avatar

    Love these! Why is FB telling me this is a spammy link?? I mean other than their total suction?

    Heading off to see the rest. This definitely needs to be an user manual…I meant, book.
    Red.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      FB Sucks the life out of me. They must be jealous that I have been spending all my time with G+

  14. James Avatar

    I think that clown needs to date that Mom.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      He is too good for her.

  15. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

    I bet if that clown had green hair he’d be doing much better with the ladies.
    🙂

    1. Bearman Avatar

      This clown does and he did not.

  16. Bo Lumpkin Avatar

    I am glad I am too old to have experienced that. I was afraid my wife would fall for the Pony Express rider when we were communicating though.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Amazing they crossed paths in the short amount of time the PE was running.

  17. Jack of Gulls Comic Avatar

    I’m diggin’ the style. Love the clown.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Thanks Jack and thanks for stopping by.

  18. JerryBenedict Avatar

    I actually did personal ads before internet dating was big. That was interesting!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Oh the stories I think you could tell.

  19. Scholar Mel Avatar

    It’s called a priest… though they can’t marry… yet.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I have been trying to post on your site all week and it won’t work. I even signed up for the darn commenting thing and it still wouldn’t work.

  20. Tony Digerolamo Avatar

    In my many years of Internet dating I’ve learned no woman wants to date a funny guy.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      No but they want to marry one.

  21. Friggin Loon Avatar

    Would be nice if you added some color 🙄

    Hey Bearman, you might want to slip a few of these toons to Susi Spice . Might help her work out what she’s doing wrong. …I’m just saying!!!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I would give Susi some advice directly if she got her butt off facebook and back in the real internet world.

      1. Friggin Loon Avatar

        Maybe that’s her problem? Oh that and yogurt loaves!!!

        1. Bearman Avatar

          No yogurt loaves is OUR problem.

  22. Brandon Avatar

    Oh man, that clown showing up would be enough to put me on edge :S

    Thank god I’ve never had to internet date, I have nothing but pity for my unmarried friends who have.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I have several friends who found great matches…but…

  23. Young American Wisdom Avatar

    I’m thankful that I never had to experience internet dating, but I totally would have dated that clown.

    These are great! I’d buy that book.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I thought you married THAT clown..haha

  24. Miss R Avatar

    Have you been reading my diary again?
    LOVED the cartoons, and sorry you never published the book.
    Last two relationships started online. Both crashed and burned after a year each.
    Might have something to do with Craigslist. Although I did meet this med student back east one time. Missed his second date after he was arrested for murder. I saw a bright future with that one -sigh-

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Don’t Trust ANYTHING you read on Facebook. And just for the record Loon, she lives no where near me so her wacky dating story wouldn’t make a good FL entry.

  25. Tony McGurk Avatar

    #1 There’s just no pleasing some people
    #2 A Priest maybe???

    My sister had a really funny, but not funny to her, internet dating experience.
    She was online dating a bloke who was a 26 year old school teacher whome she had yet to meet in person. It was getting rather serious & they often discussed marriage, sex, having kids etc. This relationship had been going n for about 6 months & she reckoned she was really in love. One day she got an email from his email account but written by his mother. He was actually a 13 year old kid.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      YOu are making that up. That is an urban legend…..hah

      1. Tony McGurk Avatar

        No I didn’t make it up. Maybe she made it up & I was gullible enough to believe it but that’s the truth of what she told me.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Well then she isn’t the only one to fall for that one.

  26. Deb Avatar

    Funny stuff, Bearman, both are really good.

    I can’t believe how many of your guests have internet dated.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Its the day and age I guess.

      1. Deb Avatar

        I guess we have to change with the times.

  27. Jenn Avatar

    Aww, I’ve never tried online dating, I suppose I’m pretty awkward in real life so I can’t imagine how I’d come off on the internet. Glad to hear of George’s success! I can’t imagine what it’d be like meeting someone you’ve communicated with for so long without actually being with them. But from what I hear when you find that special someone, it doesnt matter!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Actually online you tend to come off less awkward…well except for that woman who sent me naked pictures of herself. (and it wasn’t pretty either)

  28. Nate Fakes Avatar

    Before I was married, I tried online dating. Didn’t work too well. I’m the guy that tried to put up ‘cool’ pictures of myself, to no avail.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      You are very lucky to have found such a forgiving wife.