Redneck Toenail Dryer

Redneck Toenail DryerSo there IS a story behind this Nate Fakes original cartoon.Β  Nate Fakes of Mad Magazine, Break of Day and commenting here fame was having an ebay auction where the winner would get a custom cartoon created of anything they wanted.

Well timing was good because I just had a cartoon worthy experience with the lovely wife.Β  My wife had just got back from a pedicure to scrub all the debris and fungus off her feet (just kidding honey – not that she reads my blog anyway) and went to get dressed for dinner with our friends.Β  She came downstairs looking beautiful in her black dress and yet was complaining that due to the humidity her toenails wouldn’t dry.

The next thing I know this person, who hates the cold and keeps our house in the mid 70’s in the winter, was sitting on the kitchen floor for 10 minutes with her feet in the freezer!Β  After five minutes, I snapped a picture that subsequently made the rounds with all our friends and family.Β Β  Thankfully she puts up with me.

But of course, I couldn’t let it end there.Β  When I saw Nate’s plea for bids I jumped at the chance to have it immortalized in cartoon form.Β  And this is the result.

Nate is doing another auction this week for a custom cartoon so go check it out and follow Break of Day on Facebook to keep updated on new cartoons and future auctions.

Comments

71 responses to “Redneck Toenail Dryer”

  1. Dave Hambidge Avatar
    Dave Hambidge

    She looks a bit manic to me…

    1. Dave Hambidge Avatar
      Dave Hambidge

      rare that I’m first here…

      1. Dave Hambidge Avatar
        Dave Hambidge

        and second and third

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Must be those early morning trips to the bathroom.

          1. Dave Hambidge Avatar
            Dave Hambidge

            Too bloody right, boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Jason Avatar

    With how hot it gets where I live, I’d put my feet in there with or without nail polish.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Feet? I’d put my whole body in if it would fit.

  3. Nate Fakes Avatar

    I’m like the Wal-Mart in the custom cartoon business – CHEAP! (At least for now…sine there are no bids as of this morning.)

    Glad you enjoy your ‘toon, Bearman! I hope your wife enjoys it as well. If she would like a Redneck Fingernail Dryer cartoon to go with it, let me know.

    1. MJ Avatar

      Ha, that’s some funny stuff all around.

      As for those auction things this year. The economy is keeping bids low. I just had a few originals up for bid on 8.5″x 5″ cards, these usually fetch around $100, but with the economy that was cut in half this year.

      1. Bearman Avatar

        Well every go bid. Opening bid is $25 and he sends you the original artwork in case he croaks soon and the value goes up.

        1. Binky Avatar

          Don’t give the stalkers any ideas!

          1. Bearman Avatar

            Present company excluded right??

  4. Jillsy Girl Avatar

    Why is she wearing a white blouse, if she had a black dress on?? πŸ˜‰

    For future reference, tell her she can run cold water over them once the polish is semi-dry to help set it. For feet (and wearing a dress!), she could do it from sitting on the side of the bathtub.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      What? He is t allowed to take creative license? Someone else told her that trick AFTER the pic made the rounds but I will pass it on again.

  5. Comedy Plus Avatar

    Bwahahahahahahaha. I never thought of this. I’ll have to give it a try.

    Have a terrific day and my best to your wife. Just saying. πŸ™‚

  6. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

    Hahaha…
    that’s what those ‘crisper’ drawers are built for, right?!
    πŸ™‚

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Somehow when we were cleaning out our old place a fake fingernail was found in that crisper.

      1. SpilledInkGuy Avatar

        *cough cough*…
        I bet it was probably expired, too.
        *wheeze*
        πŸ™‚

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Definitely wasn’t fresh

  7. jb Avatar

    Love it my friend. If all else fells she can though her supper.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      I was hoping she would at least make a grocery list while she was in there.

  8. Megan (Best of Fates) Avatar

    What a perfect memory for your wife. And as long as the toes dried, that’s all that matters!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      A funny memory. She is the gift that keeps on giving.

  9. Midtoon Avatar

    I live in “Sunny California”, but the only reason I don’t have a problem with my toenail enamel drying up is that I don’t wear any, being a guy and all.

    Anyway, “Sunny California” does not apply to where I live. Right now, the outdoors air conditioner is at 52 degrees and we have 100% humidity. How’s that for the middle of the Summer? One would think that we lived in the Southern Hemisphere.

    Anyway, nice cartoon, Nate.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      What about you guy liner? My perfect temp is between 50 and 70 so that works for me

  10. Sheila Deeth Avatar

    Wouldn’t have thought of that. I thought everyone trailed fingers (and toes?) out of car windows to dry them. Maybe “modern” redneck.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Or put them on the dash of my car with the a/c blasting.

  11. George Avatar

    Your wife’s pretty smart with her obsession. I ‘ll show this to mine and see what she says. Great comic, Nate! πŸ™‚

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Your wife will know all the secrets being the fashonista that she is

  12. Mark Stokes Avatar

    Congrats on a great piece, Bearman. Fun stuff. Your wife could give Methuselah a run for his patience money.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      The way she used to style her hair gave Medusah a run for her money. Haha

  13. lisleman Avatar

    Hey you got any of that toe-jam ice cream left?

    1. Friggin Loon Avatar

      Yep, next to the fish fingers πŸ™‚

      1. Bearman Avatar

        With or without nuts??

  14. Tony McGurk Avatar

    Ha Your wife must be happy now that the whole world knows…

    1. Bearman Avatar

      She deals with me.

  15. Barry the Rat Avatar

    Hey is there any cheese in that fridge???

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Barry…I think there is some pizza and cheese bread.

      1. Nate Fakes Avatar

        I think I drew some leftover Domino’s in there. I forget exactly what though. You’ll have to open up the fridge and see.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          I found your jar of pennies.

      2. Barry the Rat Avatar

        Pizza has cheese, cheese bread has cheese. That’s 2 loads of cheese already. Hey that was easier than a trip to the moon…

  16. nursemyra Avatar

    couldn’t you have just driven to the nearest drugstore and bought her some of that spray on nail polish hardener?

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Another bit of advice I’ll pass along to her for the next time. You would think that fancy toenail joint would have put some on her.

  17. G Avatar

    Perfecto!

    Like, ya’ll want fries with that?

  18. Lynn Avatar

    Funny story and great toon btw! Now what we want to know is when do we get to see the picture that others have already seen? πŸ™‚ Also here’s what I do when my nails won’t dry, feel free to pass it on to the Mrs. Put water in a bowl and add ice and wet polish. Something about the ice-water will seal up tacky nailpolish in less than a minute! Trust me on this.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      We all don’t want to know…just nosy Lynn. haha j/k

      Another option for next time though I think the ice water might be too cold for her even compared to the freezer.

      1. Lynn Avatar

        Did you just call me “nosy Lynn”? I think you did. Pffft.. ice water too cold? Surely you realize the pain we endure to look good. Just ask any gal who’s ever had a Brazilian wax. Yeeeeooww…..

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Did I stutter. Yes I called you nosy lynn..hahah

  19. Friggin Loon Avatar

    Lucky she didn’t have problems drying her hair πŸ™

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Then I would have just had her stick her head out the window.

      1. Lynn Avatar

        Yeah I think I’d prefer the natural wind-blown look to a Medusa-ish icicle look, but that’s just me.

        1. Bearman Avatar

          Then you could be the ice queen.

  20. Binky Avatar

    So now you can call your wife Cold Toes!

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Yes…in the winter she always wants to put them under my legs for warmth. Yeeeeeeeeowwwwtch!

  21. Young American Wisdom Avatar

    Hahaha! Cold toes…warm heart. Great story. πŸ™‚

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Who said anything about a warm heart….ok it is true.

  22. DadaHyena Avatar

    Ha! You beat Jeff Foxworthy to this joke. I’ll bet he’s sore.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      He’ll probably steal it. All those comedians steal their stuff.

      1. DadaHyena Avatar

        Oh, he’ll pull a “Carlos Mencia”.

  23. bschooled Avatar

    Your wife and I would get along fabulously.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      That’s what scares me.

  24. GrammyMouseTails Avatar

    I hate the cold too, and since my freezer is on top, it would be hard for me to copy her invention… but I think be all can agree to change the redneck part. We females endure much pain to be beau-ti-ous for our males, “Female ‘only’ nail dryer” would service πŸ˜‰

    1. Bearman Avatar

      haha Grammy so true. I for one would not want to be waxed, prodded and shaped into clothing for the benefit of my mate.

  25. Will Avatar

    That’s funny! And the thing about your wife is funny too. I don’t think my wife has read a single post of mine in all these past 5 years of my blogging. She does read and comment on my writing in local newspapers, etc. though. I guess she think writing online is not the same thing or something.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      My wife does look at every cartoon I draw and critiques them. She isn’t as nice as the rest of you when someone’s caricature doesn’t look like them.

      She could care less about the online world. She isn’t on linkedin, facebook or anything like that.

  26. hen weekend Avatar

    Greaty depends on the polish, the number of coats and the humidity. I am usually careful for at leat an hour after a pedicure….The polish you are using is crappy. Start over and use a better one…

  27. bluntdelivery Avatar

    you and I, we have a lot in common in exploiting our loved ones.

    I wish i could stay longer, but your site colors LITERALLY make my eyes go nuts and I can’t see anything for ten minutes after I leave.

    1. Bearman Avatar

      Well if your loved one is a web programmer, can you exploit him to redesign my site.

  28. hen weekend Avatar

    i think The polish you are using is crappy. Start over and use a better one…

    1. Bearman Avatar

      haha. I’ll tell her that.