Is someone trying to tell me to exercise and quit eating junk food?

 I admit, I am a lazy person. Sure I hold down a job and do cartooning on the side. But overall I am lazy. I workout only about once a week (sometimes more) and have to really focus to make better food choices.

Lately it seems that the world is against me (or at least trying to push me in the direction of making better life choices).

First it was Olympia. They used to sell this great Caller ID Globe at Brookstone. I can sit on my couch and see who is calling from across the room and decide whether that person was worth getting off my ass for.

InfoGlobe imageImage from

Well it has come time to replace my 5 year old one because the display has gone bad.  Much to my surprise Brookstone no longer carries it and they said the manufacturer has stopped making it.  Ebay still has a few for over $70.  Can’t someone else work this technology?

In my quest to eat better (notice I said better not great) I started eating Doritos Light a few years ago. 

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Also known in some circles as  Poopie Chips b/c they are made with Olestra, I never had intestinal problems eating them.  Honestly I think that whole myth was started because some guy with diarrhea anyway ended up in the test group.  Besides I was hoping for them to have an adverse affect on me figuring I could end up losing a few pounds.   Anyway, I noticed about a year ago that Kroger stopped carrying them.  Typical for Kroger to stop carrying a product I use forcing me to go elsewhere, I went directly to Frito-Lay’s website to find out who carries them.  NO ONE.  They discontinued them and when I spoke to a representative they said that they still had Baked Doritos…uhhh YUCK.   Tastes like cheese flavored cardboard.

So recently Tostitos Gold has been on the shopping list.  Forget the calorie jump, they taste good.  Now it looks like Frito Lay has done it to me again.  Launched with much fanfare six years ago, they are no longer on the shelf.  A quick review of the Frito-Lay website, doesn’t include them in the list anymore.

Am I the only one with a kiss of death on products?  Anything you loved that is no longer available?  Maybe I should farm myself out to companies to start using their competitors products.  I could be like the “Cooler” for the retail industry.

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  1. George says:

    I know how you feel. I can’t find Orville Red’s cheese-flavored or sour cream & chives flavored microwave popcorn anywhere. Or that Kraft salad dressing they made for kids that was nacho or pizza flavored. I think our taste buds are just cursed, man.

  2. George says:

    For some reason, I can’t. Just like I can’t buy a dollar burger, take it home, and add my own cheese to save 60 cents. I’m weird that way. It’s gotta come the way I bought it.

    Except for Kool-Aid. I still need water. 🙂

    And I hate paying for water. Didn’t it used to be free back in the day? If you ever see someone selling packaged air, invest in the company, cuz it’s gonna come to that eventually.

    • Yes it was free back in the day and I am sure you can still get it free the same way. Take your bucket to the river, fill it up, boil out the bacteria, have enough to make your coffee. Repeat 50 times if you want a shower.

  3. George says:

    Hey, thanks! I wonder why I can’t get it around here? Maybe they don’t allow that sort of thing in the South. I went out to California and asked for iced tea, and they don’t know what I’m talking about. Or is it just a Southern thing? 🙂

  4. George says:

    Maybe I’ll just skip the showers….

  5. nursemyra says:

    any woman can tell you that as soon as they find a lipstick that is the EXACT shade they have been searching for – the company making it will immediately cease production.

    and they’re already selling bottled air – have you heard of Oxygen Bars?

    • No in the south if you ask for iced tea they assume you want Sweet Tea. Please don’t skip showers…cartoonists already have a reputation a step above Trekkies, don’t make it worse.

      Myra, that’s why when I find a pair gym shoes from Payless that I like, I buy five pair.

  6. George says:

    Oxygen Bars? Really? Can I invest, get in on the ground floor? I’ve been trying to buy beachfront property in Kansas all year, but no one will sell me any. I think people are just against us Southerners!

  7. lol. light doritos. you are one lazy ass. If it’s any consolation, I did some stretches tonight. That was my frist exercise in about 3 years, when I was chased by a dog. This is starting to sound like a pretty good blog… thanks for the inspiration! hah.

    • George…ground floor? Hmmm, the oxygen bar craze has come and gone.

      Brit, every little bit helps. But I am not sure if I inspired you to exercise or eat lower calorie junk food.

  8. George says:

    Dang! Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. 🙁

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