Australian Taxi Cab Drivers

Bearman Cartoons Australian Cab Drivers and Apple MapsToday’s cartoon is an ode to the wonderful men and women who drive the taxis all around Australia.  I am sure most of them are very competent.  So why the heck did you send the others to us?  It was if someone had installed Apple Maps (notorious for getting people lost) in their brains.   We walked most of the time but in our trip we probably took 6 cab rides.  Here were the facts:

  • 4 out of 6 drivers had no idea where we were asking them to go (even with cross streets mentioned)
  • 3 of those 4 even had GPS
  • Only one tried to use it unsuccessfully
  • 3 of the 4 lost drivers were in Sydney

And it wasn’t as if we were going to some obscure place.   But in Sydney, where we had most of the issues, it wasn’t limited to cab drivers.   Walking one day without my map, I got a little disoriented on Sydneys spoke and wheel system of streets.  I asked a cop how to get back to my hotel.  He pointed in a direction that I knew was wrong even when I told him what street it was on.

Actual Cab Conversation:

Us:  We would like to go to Nick’s Seafood

Driver: (blank stare)

Us: In Cockle Bay Wharf?

Driver: (bigger blank stare)

Us:  Darling Harbour??

Driver: (puzzled look)

Us:  Here on the map!

Driver: OK

Us (after many minutes of driving): I think you are on the wrong side of the Bay.   The restaurant is on the other side

Driver finally uses GPS.  Puts in a restaurant none of us ever mentioned and started off.

Us: That isn’t the restaurant.  And I think we are driving in a big circle.

Finally the driver stopped about 1/4 mile from where we were going and pretty much gave up.  Thankfully we were only charged half the meter rate.

Now to be fare, all of our tour bus drivers and the drivers as part of our transfer shuttles never got lost for a minute.  This actually was the opposite of our experience in London several years ago.  The cab drivers knew every little pub and alley everywhere.  The guy who brought us from the airport got lost.


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69 Responses to “Australian Taxi Cab Drivers”

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  1. Colleen says:

    Never mind the cabbies, the ambulance drivers don’t know the hoods either. When I was the passenger I think I could have gotten to the hospital faster on my bike. I have a vague reminisce of regaining consciousness briefly & getting my bearings and saying OMG no! Sydney road is SOOOO much faster!

  2. lisleman says:

    getting lost can be fun. I guess you were hungry though.

  3. Comedy Plus says:

    Note to self…don’t take a cab in Sydney. Yikes and then some. Got some friends that are there now enjoying the great weather. Lucky them, it’s freezing here.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  4. Deb says:

    Nor will I ever take a cab in Sydney.
    Hey Bearman. Stopped in to wish you a Merry Christmas now just in case I don’t have a chance to get online again for a few days…best wishes!

  5. Christina says:

    Do you have a gallery of vacation photos anywhere?

  6. Red says:

    I think there is an international cabbie school where they all learn to ignore the riders and drive around in circles.

  7. Red says:

    And since I probably will not see you before the big day, Happy Christmas to you and yours. Thank Mrs. Bearman for getting you out of her hair, so we can share you.

    You have brought a lot of laughs my way this year, Bearman. Here’s to a bright and happy new year.

  8. Androgoth says:

    I hope the waiters knew where
    the kitchen was Bearman 🙁 lmao

    Superb cartoon as always and thank
    you for the wicked laughs in 2012 🙂


  9. Bo Lumpkim says:

    I am just curious…were they Australian or do all the U.S. cab drivers go to foreign countries…you know some kind of exchange thing. Maybe all their cab drivers were from Canada or something.

  10. frigginloon says:

    BLAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA Bearman, the old fleece the tourist trick. No cabbie in Australia knows where the heck they are going. It is a prerequisite for all Aussie Taxi drivers to a) not speak English b) never use GPS c) identify tourists and rip them off d) deodorant is optional.

    You should have gone to Doyle’s seafood restaurant (you just catch a ferry at Circular Quay).

    Oh and before I go Merry Christmas to you Bearman and your very tolerant wife. May it be full of good food, good wine and good times.

    • Bearman says:

      Now you are full of advice. Where was that dinner recommendation before I left.

      I originally was going to have the joke that you need two things to become a taxi driver in Oz. A driver’s license and a heartbeat. Scratch that…you just need the license.

      Merry to you and all the loons

  11. Tony McGurk says:

    I lived in Sydney for 10 years & I had plenty of taxi issues too. One time back when I was n the Navy a couple of us were in the city centre & caught a Taxi to Garden Island Dockyard (G.I.) which is a 5-10 minute drive & easy to find. The driver started heading across the harbour bridge to the North Shore. We had to redirect him & show him how to get to the dockyard. Then he wanted to charge us for the whole tour. We gave him $5 which was the standard fare from City to G.I. but he started ranting that we owed him the full fare. He threatened to call the cops so we said go ahead. He took the 5 bucks & drove off in a huff.

  12. Binky says:

    Sounds like being a cab driver in Sydney is something I’m well qualified for.

  13. duncanr says:

    Loon said it, Bearman. They clocked you as a tourist !

    [The panama hat, hawaiian shirt, shorts, white sports socks with open toed sandals likely gave you away] 😆

  14. G.B. Miller says:

    I guess bad driving is universal no matter where you is.

    A very Merry Christmas (for I am one of those who ain’t politically correct) to you and yours.

  15. It’s important to get things wrong in the right way.

  16. I could get lost crossing the street by my apartment, so I probably shouldn’t say too much. Although I usually don’t charge much for that, either.
    Merry Christmas, Bearman! 🙂

  17. Cab rides are such an adventure. I highly suggest getting a cab ride on vacation or in another country….if you have time that is.

  18. Gruhn says:

    Just like anything. It only takes a few to ruin it for everyone. Good Toon and Merry Christmas!

  19. Merry Christmas/ Joyeux Noël, Bearman!!

  20. susi spice says:

    It is unfortunate… but the cab drivers in Australia..all over.. are shameful. I dont know if they do it to get more money out of people but its ridiculous. I always make note of their licence display number (inside the cab should be on display) and then report them if they do anythihg dodgy. I really hope that the proposed laws of making cab drivers lose their taxi licenses comes into effect soon if they do dodgy things and lose their taxi licenses if they do not know where they are going. I am afraid that many of the taxi drivers are DODGY and FAKE. Many of them borrow a friend’s license and they only have arrive din Australia a few days earlier. I am a bitch to taxi drivers if they dont know where they are going and I do report them. so watch out taxi drivers. And neither am i polite to them on the road because they SUCK! hate them!

    • Bearman says:

      Omg. Have to take my heart meds. Almost keeled over because Susi commented here for the first time in one year, nine months, and eleven days.

      THIS is what compelled you to finally comment? Haha

  21. susi spice says:

    i read you.. haha ur not the only one i havent commented on in ages…
    by the way, im heading your way in 2013, we should catch up! hehe.

  22. Nef says:

    Duncanr said on my strip that it is not a problem with the taxi drivers, but actually with YOU.


  23. Jande says:

    Bearman, Glad to know you had a great holiday! Does the air smell like menthol there? Love your Aussie cartoons. And the Ken Groo character is awesome! :`D

  24. susi spice says:

    hmm well if not having to tip and the taxi drivers is all you say we’ve done pretty well to impress you hehe.

  25. Mark Stokes says:

    Taxi drivers and misdirection make a lucrative combination.

  26. jb says:

    Gps implants in the brain might be the wave of the future.

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