Category: Beartoons

Movember

Yes dear friends it is Movember, so time to celebrate with a cartoon of bearded fact proportions. For the uniformed, Movember is a play on Mustache and November. Many non folically challenged men grow a mustache to raise awareness about men’s heath issues and more specifically prostate cancer. That or it is an excuse to grow a cheesy 70’s porn mustache while defending yourself from angry wives/girlfriends by claiming it is for a good cause. In my house there is either shaved or beard. No stache, no goatee, no mutton chops allowed or the wife threatens to cut off all her hair.

Which brings us to today’s hairy fact. Peter the Great of Russia was so enamored with Western Culture that he tried all he could to get the backwards countrymen to do as the Europeans do. So in 1698 he passed a law that taxed any man who wanted to keep his facial hair. This fattened the government coffers so Peter could spend more time away from Russia and caused a majority of poor Russian men to shave. Win Win for Peter.

So I imagine like today’s guys on the corner holding up the “honest sign” stating they need “Beer Money”, the men of Old Mother Russia begged for some “Beard Money”

Also credit to the artist who created the tree brushes I used in this post.

November 21, 2014
Amazon Employees are Feeling Underpaid and Overtimed

Amazon employees are feeling underpaid and overtimed so much so that a lawsuit against the company is being heard at the Supreme Court. What is happening is that Amazon has a security checkpoint for workers leaving their warehouse that ensures no one is stealing items. However, according to the employees, if you are in the back of the line it can take up to 25 minutes to get through the security checkpoint. The employees claim they should be paid for it. The company claims it isn’t integral to their job so overtime pay is not required based on previous laws on the books.

I see it differently. If you are requiring an hourly employee to stay at work with no control over their leaving, then they should be paid for it. However, there is a limit. If I am an employee who works in a call center and my employer requires me to be logged onto my computer and ready to take calls at my scheduled start time I have no problem with it. Or if I am expected to put on a uniform after arriving to work, I have no problem with that. In both cases I can control how soon or late I show up to work to be on time. When that control is put in the hands of the company I work for and the time becomes egregious, then I have an issue and then it makes the task integral to the job. 5-10 minutes is the maximum any company should keep you from leaving through security checks. To their credit Amazon has said they have increased their security and the flow of egress has improved.

While I think Amazon was in the wrong in this case, I don’t think this should open up the floodgates, as some have predicted, that all non specific work activities should be paid for. Guess it depends on how the Supreme Court rules and writes their decision.

October 17, 2014
Underwater Glue

Sure people have made an underwater glue before but scientists at MIT have engineered proteins based on those found on mussels and barnacles (you know that crap that sticks to ships) to create a super glue that can stick to pretty much anything. This has the potential for things as vast as underwater ship repair and surgical adhesion.

Now for the most part animal based glue products including horses have gone away as more synthetic glues have become more prevalent. That did not stop the following conversation with my wife the other day.

Mrs. Bearman: Oh look there is some roadkill. Guess that keeps Gorilla Glue in business. (Gorilla Glue is headquartered near our house)

Bearman: What???

Mrs. Bearman: They use roadkill in their glue.

Bearman: WHAT?? Where the hell did you hear that?

Mrs. Bearman: I don’t know someone told me that.

Bearman: It probably was a bad game of telephone where someone joked about Gorilla Glue being made from real Gorilla and ultimately it gets turned into Gorilla Glue is made from roadkill. Oh yeah. I forgot, I saw the Gorilla Glue roadkill truck on patrol the other day.

Mrs. Bearman: Ok it does sound stupid now that you say it.

September 22, 2014
HHH WWE Network Sign

The last in my lastest series of WWE Caricature Signs features former WWE Wrestler and now COO Triple H aka HHH aka Hunter Hearst Helmsley aka Paul Levesque. Earlier this year, the WWE launched the WWE Network. After first approaching several cable companies to create a premium network like Showtime and HBO, the WWE decided that the distribution wasn’t there and therefore created the network as an over the top streaming network.

The big value to customers is that at a $9.99 price point (with a 6 month commitment) you would get all the PPV events that historically were only available on cable/satellite. The company stated in early earnings calls that they anticipated needing 1 million subscribers to break even. Considering on cable any single PPV event could cost $45, the heavy PPV buyers flocked to the network early. For one cable/satellite PPV, you could watch four monthly PPV events. Great deal right? Well unfortunately the WWE seemed to stall at about 700,000 subscribers as recent reports.

So how do you get the needle moving again? Have one of your biggest talents use his on-air time to, with a wink, shamelessly promote the WWE Network at “only $9.99” at every chance he can. If this doesn’t work, there is talk they may scrap the entire streaming network and try once again to sell it via cable.

September 12, 2014
Bo Dallas Sign

Today’s WWE new poster sign design is a mashup. Taylor Rotunda is better known in WWE circles as Bo Dallas, a creepy motivational wrestler. His brother, Windham is also on the roster as Bray Wyatt who thinks of himself as a backwoods cult leader. One of his signature lines is “Follow the Buzzards”

So I give you what would happen if Bo suddenly became a member of the Wyatt Family – “Follow the BO-zzards”

Last one tomorrow.

September 9, 2014
John Cena WWE Sign

Apologies for the odd posting schedule as I have been working on several commissions including some new WWE Signs that I will be posting over the next few days. Those of you who don’t care about wrestling or WWE should probably just skip visiting this week and return next week 🙂

Today’s entry is a John Cena sign. Cena is the former champion and under WWE rules would be next in line for a rematch with the current champ Brock Lesnar. For years, John Cena’s shirts have proudly displayed his mantra of “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect.” When WWE COO Triple H threatened to pull him from the match, Cena threatened lawsuit. In return Triple H mocked him saying “But when John Cena said the words to me ‘lawsuit’ — hustle, loyalty, respect, lawsuit — it doesn’t even fit, right? So out of character for John Cena.”

Personally my way of changing it to “Hustle, Lawsuit, Respect” works better. What do you think?

September 8, 2014
Ice Bucket Challenge

So my Ice Bucket Challenge cartoon is really the Ice Bucket Challenged Cartoon. Or better, the Lice Bucket Challenge. Poor Joe didn’t quite hear correctly when he was given the Ice Bucket Challenge. He heard lice and now finally realizes it is time for a hearing aid.

Figured I would add little live lice to the mix for your enjoyment.

For the uninformed (and I don’t know how you could be), The Ice Bucket Challenge was started by a 26 year old Florida man and it has since spread from there. Celebrities, Sports figures and every day people have gotten into the mix all to raise awareness and money for ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) better known in the United States as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It is a degenerative disease that affects nerves in the brain and spinal cord essentially shutting down mobility and ultimately paralysis and death. For better info than I can give or to donate go to the ALS Assocation (www.alsa.org).

I have seen a few naysayers online complaining that vast numbers of people are just doing the challenge to have fun with the challenge and aren’t spreading the message about ALS or even know what it is. I say so what. This is the biggest fundraising effort of this organization and more people are now aware of it than ever before. So go ahead and dump your head with ice water. AND the first person to take up the challenge of a Lice Bucket Challenge, I will donate $100 in honor of you..haha

August 22, 2014
Cards Against Humanity With In-Laws

For the uninformed today’s cartoon is about the game Cards Against Humanity. Essentially each player is given several answer cards and one person reads a question card. The players need to respond with the answer that they think the reader will like best. Given the adult nature of most of the cards, typically the winner ends up being the one who has the most outlandish response. Buzzfeed offers some examples.

Therefore, it is essential to know your friends well that you decide to play this game with to ensure that there won’t be hurt feelings or too overt embarrassment when done playing.

When we get together for a family lunch/dinner at someone’s house, many time it includes playing safe games like UNO. So much to my suprise after lunch at our house, my wife suggested the entire family play Cards Against Humanity. Not only did this include my mother-in-law but also several teenage nieces and nephews.

Of course I said if I played I would NOT explain any of the cards. Thankfully my MIL was sitting next to my wife so any confusing words could be explained in whispers. Of course, my wife had to loudly blurt out every word that she had to define.

Note: All of the answers used in the cartoon are real cards except one. You have the ability to make up your own cards so one of the answers was offered up by a female friend that she heard in college. I’ll let you figure it out.

August 7, 2014
How the World Responds to Civilian Deaths during War

Just so no one misinterprets my intention upfront with this cartoon, let me preface it by saying I think all life is a gift and precious. Whether in the streets of Gaza, Israel, or Iraq, people should have the security of knowing that their life won’t be taken due to the decisions and skirmishes of others. Yet, as there seems to be no shortage of wars and political unrest around the world, I am finding it interesting to note how however tragic civilians dying that there is another level of vitriol and hatred when it comes to Israel.

As the cartoon mentions we have ISIS terrorizing and killing 5,500 civilians this year alone in Iraq. And in Mosul, ISIS told Christians to leave or be killed. And yet no massive worldwide condemnation or demonstrations. Civilians continue to die in the civil war in Syria with rival countries supplying weapons to both sides. But no mass condemnation or demonstrations. Russian Separatists killing others and most likely downing a commercial airline. And while there are government sanctions being put in place against Russia for their role, again no massive demonstrations. Let’s not forget Pakistan, several African countries and whatever is happening in North Korea behind closed doors.

Now in Israel where the death toll of Palestinians in Gaza has surpassed 800, and the majority reported to be civilian, suddenly the world decries their actions over all others. Hamas will say Israel is targeting civilians. Israel says Hamas is both hiding their armory among civilians and hiding themselves among them so it is difficult to determine whether or not many of the dead are civilians or fighters. Who is more to blame is for scholars and experts greater than me.

But while the world and the UN should be outraged at all unnecessary deaths, this is what you see. #freegaza has trended on social media for three weeks while all other skirmishes listed trend for a day or so and then go away again. Thousands have marched around the world protesting Israels actions, which in many cases has led to rhetoric moving from anti-Israel to anti-Jewish sentiments with protesters chanting “Death to the Jews” and attacking Jewish businesses, synagogues and people. Even in friendly Canada, things got out of hand at a recent rally in Calgary.

But it isn’t just citizens. The ANC, Turkey, Venezuela, and Bolivia among others has condemned Israel, while staying quiet on the other mentioned conflicts. But it seems the biggest perpetrator of them all is the United Nationals Human Rights Council which decided to open an investigation into possible war crimes by Israel while omitting to look at the same for Hamas.

Violent death is and should be an outrage no matter the cause. But we need to stop picking and choosing when we decide to be outraged and by whom.

July 25, 2014
Kale Smoothie Recipe That Actually Tastes Good
Did you ever find a Kale Smoothie Recipe that actually tastes good? Did you ever even try? Do you know about the benefits of Kale? I certainly didn’t until recently but kept hearing things like “Kale is a Superfood” So I went online to find out why. According to WebMD Kale offers these benefits:
- 33 Calories per cup with 206% Vitamin A, 134% Vitamin C, and 684% Vitamin K.
- Rich in lutein and zeaxanthin compounds promoting eye health.
- Anti-Cancer health benefits
So I decided it was time to try it. YUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK!! Too bitter for my taste buds. So how was I to get the benefits of Kale without having to hold my nose to ingest it? SMOOTHIE!!! But just throwing in Kale with your other smoothie ingredients won’t work well because it tends to leave chunks in the mix. And who wants that? So I give you my own recipe and with the exception of ice, all the ingredients are shown in the picture below.

Ingredients:
- 1 – 1 1/2 cups Kale pulled off the stem
- 1 cup Almond Milk (I prefer Blue Diamond Unsweetened as it only has 30 Calories) You can substitute milk but refer to the WebMD article for those with calcium absorption issues.
- 4-5 Strawberries
- 1 – Banana
- 2-4 Ice Cubes
Process:
1. Put only Kale and Almond Milk in Blender and blend until smooth.
2. Add banana and strawberries and again blend until smooth
3. Add ice and blend once more until smooth
4. Drink up!!
Trust me that all you taste is the banana and the strawberry. No bitterness. You are all welcome for making sure you live long healthy lives so you can keep coming back so my site stats stay up. 🙂
July 16, 2014