Tag: Dan Soto

  • Linus Van Pelt on Hoarders

    ToonMZ Linus Van Pelt of Peanuts Fame to Appear on Hoarders

    Image by Bearman, Story by Dan Soto

    Former child star, Linus Van Pelt (no relation to Stephanie Van Pelt), has been tapped to be featured on an upcoming episode of the hit show “Hoarders”.

    Recently, ToonMZ, spent a few minutes with Linus about his upcoming appearance.

    “It’s all Lucy and Snoopy’s fault” (referring to his older sister Lucy Van Pelt and his best friends dog). “For years, they tried to take my blanket and I successfully fended them off each and every time. Then one day, I got up to get my bottle of Makers Mark and took my eyes off my blanket for a split second. That was the moment Lucy and Snoopy had been waiting on forever.”

    After a few moments to blot his eyes, Linus continued his story.

    “It was at that moment that I realized I needed a backup plan. I needed more blankets. I knew I would not survive this cruel life with only one blanket and cruel friends. I have spent every day of my life finding and storing every blanket I could get my pudgy little fingers on. Salvation Army, Goodwill, Wal-Mart and anywhere I can find a blanket either old or new, is not safe.”

    ToonMZ was not able to get a direct (or honest) estimate from Linus about how many blankets he has collected but our team of expert guestimators was able to get a quick peek in his condo and came up with approximately 1,924,000 blankets.

    Update: ToonMZ has just learned that the estate of the late Charles Schultz has given its blessing to an upcoming “Peanuts” special entitled “It’s the Great Hoarder, Charlie Brown”

    Click below to Support the Charity Challenge

    Bearman Cartoons Charity Challenge 2012

     

  • Richie Rich and the 99%

    ToonMZ Richie Rich and the 99%

    Story by Dan Soto.  Another ToonMZ parody exclusive.  What happens when Richie Rich gets older and fat?  Probably this.

    Capitol Hill
    Washington, DC

    At the behest of key Republican Senators, Richie Rich, the world’s richest kid, flew to Capitol Hill yesterday to testify before the Senate on behalf of the 1%. With his best friend, his dog, Dollar, sitting faithfully beside him, Richie adamantly defended the 1%.

    “I made my money the old fashioned way” he exclaimed in his unmistakable high-pitched voice. “I inherited it!” He went on to explain, “These 99%-ers have no idea how hard it was on me growing up with the unlimited amount of money I had at my disposal. I’ve earned the right to be proud of my 1% status. That’s something you 99%-ers will never, ever understand. Right, dollar?”

    After the Senate hearing, Richie flew all Senators and staff members to Disney World in Paris for fun, games and dinner with Mickey and Minnie.

  • Bamm Bamm Rubble Shot by Police

    Bamm Bamm Rubble Shot by Police Cartoon

    Story by Dan Soto.  Illustration by Bearman

    Local residents in the small town of Bedrock are in an uproar over the shooting of Bamm Bamm Rubble. Bamm Bamm, the adopted son of Barney and Betty Rubble, was shot by Sgt. Boulder of Bedrock while peacefully walking towards the policeman and holding nothing more menacing than a turkey leg.

    “It was cold blooded murder” cried Betty Rubble who lost her only son. “All Bamm Bamm was doing was was trying to offer Sgt. Boulder a bite from his turkey leg!”.

    “I don’t quite understand this.” explained his father, Barney. “It’s not like he had a bag of candy or soda in his hand. For crying out loud, it was just a turkey leg!”

    Local authorities have given the following statement regarding the shooting.

    “This morning at 7:31 AM, Bedrock Standard Time, Sgt. Boulder was being approached by Bamm Bamm Rubble with what appeared to be a significant sized weapon. Sgt. Boulder attempted to warn Mr. Rubble to freeze but to no avail. Mr. Rubble continued in a threatening manner towards Sgt. Boulder while yelling the words “Bam Bam” in defiance of the officer’s direct order to freeze. As Mr. Rubble continued forward, Sgt. Boulder, who has been on our force with stellar credentials for 24 years, drew his weapon and, once again, ordered Mr. Rubble to freeze. Mr. Rubble defiantly disregarded this order and continued to advance toward Sgt. Boulder which left him with no choice. Sgt. Boulder has been questioned and released and is found to have complied completely within our code of ethics. There are no plans for further investigation at this point”

    “Prehistoric profiling. This is nothing less than prehistoric profiling and neither I, nor Wilma will stand for this”, said Fred Flinstone, the Rubbles’ neighbor.