A Day in My Life

Noel over at DJBogtrotter and Miltons Life has decided to issue a challenge calling May 14 Dialogue Free Webcomics Day.  Well I know I am 6 weeks early but I couldn’t resist this image because it reflects my day last Sunday.

The day started with me waking up to find that one of our cats had puked in 12 different places all over the house.  I am squeamish when it comes to this stuff so I have to choke back my own vomit whenever I clean up vomit (or change the cat litter).  Usually if it was in one place I would act like I didn’t see it and wait for the wife to clean it up.  But in twelve spots, I knew I had to man up and make it a team effort.

Afterwards, I went about my day eating breakfast, showering (which is important to note as we will come back to this later) and then going shopping.  I got a new workout shirt and a new belt.  I needed the belt desperately as mine was falling apart so I wasted no time putting it on in the store.

Early in the afternoon, as I tend to do several times a day, I sat down on the toilet to do what men do when they sit on the toilet.  Suddenly I was overcome by the atrocious smell of putrid salmon.   Covering my face with my shirt, I looked all around the bathroom to see if we possibly missed some cat vomit in our clean up efforts.  I knew the smell was somewhere in the bathroom but I couldn’t figure out where.

All seemed normal until later that day I had to go again; this time I went into a different bathroom.  Once again the smell overcame me.  As I leaned over toward the air-vent the smell become stronger.  I called out to my wife to stick her head in the air-vent and see if the smell could be coming from the furnace.  She said no. 

To my horror, I realized that if it wasn’t the cat and it wasn’t the furnace, then it must be me.  It can’t be me.  I just showered that morning.  Yet here I was leaning over on the toilet trying to smell my crotch to determine if indeed it was.   I feared I had some form of Salmon Crotch Disease.  Was it curable?  Would I smell like this the rest of my life?

I tore off each piece of clothing to get a better smell and lo and behold it was my DAMN NEW BELT.  Yes folks my brand new Gap belt smells of salmon.  I’ll be taking it back this weekend and hopefully it was a one time thing.

A day in my life.

Butt CAULK!!!

For those who had trouble getting the joke on my Cash for Caulkers cartoon, Mark Consuelos, husband of Kelly Ripa and guest host on Live with Regis and Kelly, brings it home.

No Nuts Zone

The idea for the most recent t-shirt design from WackSack.com came from our friends up North trying to do the right thing and the media of course taking it hilariously wrong.

It seems that after complaints of two passengers, the Canadian Transportation Agency has order Air Canada to come up with a plan to accomodate those with severe peanut allergies.  It seems two people who complained to the CTA got action after not getting anywhere with Air Canada.  The CTA ruled, “people with peanut and nut allergies face significant barriers to safe travel and should be treated as having a disability. As such, all accommodations should be made to ensure their safety while travelling with Air Canada.”

The funniest part is if you clicked the link to the story on a USA Today Blog not only is the title hilarious – Air Canada ordered to give fliers a ‘nut-free’ flight option – but take a look at the accompanying picture.  Really?  The best image to go with this story is a picture of an inflated hotdog??

So we give you the lastest No Nuts design available on t-shirts, buttons, bags, etc.  Some useful ideas for who you might buy this for include:

• Your favorite peanut allergy sufferer.  Why should they have to explain their allergies to everyone.  Let a shirt speak for itself.
• Your favorite man in your life.  Make sure he wears this out in public with you so everyone knows who wears the pants in the relationship.
• Your favorite lesbian.  What better way to tell a guy to f_ off in a humorous way by letting him know you aren’t interested.

Personally, I think if they want to create a “nut free” zone in the airplanes, I would be happy to seat passengers accordingly since I can point out the real nuts.  They tend to get seated next to me and want to share their entire life story with me when all I want to do is sleep.  Oh and I have a great idea for Air Canada to easily adhere to this new policy.  STOP SERVING PEANUTS.  Give out pretzels instead.

Is Google all up in your Shit?

Great video from the guys at SuperNews.

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