A Day in My Life

Noel over at DJBogtrotter and Miltons Life has decided to issue a challenge calling May 14 Dialogue Free Webcomics Day.  Well I know I am 6 weeks early but I couldn’t resist this image because it reflects my day last Sunday.

The day started with me waking up to find that one of our cats had puked in 12 different places all over the house.  I am squeamish when it comes to this stuff so I have to choke back my own vomit whenever I clean up vomit (or change the cat litter).  Usually if it was in one place I would act like I didn’t see it and wait for the wife to clean it up.  But in twelve spots, I knew I had to man up and make it a team effort.

Afterwards, I went about my day eating breakfast, showering (which is important to note as we will come back to this later) and then going shopping.  I got a new workout shirt and a new belt.  I needed the belt desperately as mine was falling apart so I wasted no time putting it on in the store.

Early in the afternoon, as I tend to do several times a day, I sat down on the toilet to do what men do when they sit on the toilet.  Suddenly I was overcome by the atrocious smell of putrid salmon.   Covering my face with my shirt, I looked all around the bathroom to see if we possibly missed some cat vomit in our clean up efforts.  I knew the smell was somewhere in the bathroom but I couldn’t figure out where.

All seemed normal until later that day I had to go again; this time I went into a different bathroom.  Once again the smell overcame me.  As I leaned over toward the air-vent the smell become stronger.  I called out to my wife to stick her head in the air-vent and see if the smell could be coming from the furnace.  She said no. 

To my horror, I realized that if it wasn’t the cat and it wasn’t the furnace, then it must be me.  It can’t be me.  I just showered that morning.  Yet here I was leaning over on the toilet trying to smell my crotch to determine if indeed it was.   I feared I had some form of Salmon Crotch Disease.  Was it curable?  Would I smell like this the rest of my life?

I tore off each piece of clothing to get a better smell and lo and behold it was my DAMN NEW BELT.  Yes folks my brand new Gap belt smells of salmon.  I’ll be taking it back this weekend and hopefully it was a one time thing.

A day in my life.

Is Google all up in your Shit?

Great video from the guys at SuperNews.

Coffee, Tea or Depends

I worked on this editorial cartoon before I read that they are pulling back on the regulations but it still is a harsh reminder of how the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) can have a knee jerk reaction.

After the failed terror attempt on a Northwest Flight last week the following regulations went into effect for international flights:

Limiting international passengers to a single carry-on bag

Second-round security checks, including manual pat downs and body searches

On certain flights, disabling the map showing the plane’s progress and location

Prohibiting passengers from having blankets or pillows in their laps for the last hour of the flight

Requiring passengers to remain seated for the last hour of the flight

Now I have no problem with any of those things to promote security EXCEPT for the last one.  It is at the point in  the flight that they say I can’t get up for the bathroom, that I tend to always have to go.  There were domestic flights that I took after 9/11 that they told us we would not be able to get up during the flight (less than 2 hours) so we had better go to the bathroom before boarding.  Of course that was after I chugged a bottle of water.

When those of us with weak bladders and spastic colons are hindered in our ability to go when needed, then and only then have the terrorists really won.

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Bearman Cartoon: Bengals Beat Steelers

Sorry for my focus on American Football toons as of late but the Cincinnati Bengals have not beaten the Pittsburgh Steelers at home in eight years. Sunday they finally won and my friends in Pittsburgh deserve a little payback for all the years that they beat on us.

For the uninformed, the Bengal Tiger obviously represents the bengals.  Pittsburgh fans carry en masse a towel that is printed with the words “terrible towel” to games at home and away.   The towel is now synonymous with the Steelers. 

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