Noel over at DJBogtrotter and Miltons Life has decided to issue a challenge calling May 14 Dialogue Free Webcomics Day. Well I know I am 6 weeks early but I couldn’t resist this image because it reflects my day last Sunday.
The day started with me waking up to find that one of our cats had puked in 12 different places all over the house. I am squeamish when it comes to this stuff so I have to choke back my own vomit whenever I clean up vomit (or change the cat litter). Usually if it was in one place I would act like I didn’t see it and wait for the wife to clean it up. But in twelve spots, I knew I had to man up and make it a team effort.
Afterwards, I went about my day eating breakfast, showering (which is important to note as we will come back to this later) and then going shopping. I got a new workout shirt and a new belt. I needed the belt desperately as mine was falling apart so I wasted no time putting it on in the store.
Early in the afternoon, as I tend to do several times a day, I sat down on the toilet to do what men do when they sit on the toilet. Suddenly I was overcome by the atrocious smell of putrid salmon. Covering my face with my shirt, I looked all around the bathroom to see if we possibly missed some cat vomit in our clean up efforts. I knew the smell was somewhere in the bathroom but I couldn’t figure out where.
All seemed normal until later that day I had to go again; this time I went into a different bathroom. Once again the smell overcame me. As I leaned over toward the air-vent the smell become stronger. I called out to my wife to stick her head in the air-vent and see if the smell could be coming from the furnace. She said no.
To my horror, I realized that if it wasn’t the cat and it wasn’t the furnace, then it must be me. It can’t be me. I just showered that morning. Yet here I was leaning over on the toilet trying to smell my crotch to determine if indeed it was. I feared I had some form of Salmon Crotch Disease. Was it curable? Would I smell like this the rest of my life?
I tore off each piece of clothing to get a better smell and lo and behold it was my DAMN NEW BELT. Yes folks my brand new Gap belt smells of salmon. I’ll be taking it back this weekend and hopefully it was a one time thing.
A day in my life.